And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why boosters now cost six dollars each.

Anyone who’s slung more than a couple of Lightning Bolts in their time (the card I mean, not actual lightning bolts. You can stop reading here, Zeus) will recognize the creatures in the final panel.

Darksteel Colossus speaks to the “Timmy” player in all of us. He’s ridiculously huge, hits for eleven, has trample and he’s indestructible. Indestructible. Now there’s a compelling word.

If we squint hard enough at the card art we can almost see ourselves, a tiny spec upon Darksteel’s shoulder. Looking out across the multi-verse as our giant, indestructible, Rock-Em-Sock-Em Robot crushes all resistance underfoot.

“What’s that you’ve got there, mate? Psychatog?THUD. “More like crushed-to-death-atog.”

Then someone explains that we can get him out on our third turn with Tinker, and our tiny minds are blown.

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