Social Justice Warrior
DC Should Just Announce A Wonder Woman Movie Already

Ross Lincoln | 8 Aug 2014 21:40
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It's the obvious way to give Marvel the finger. Isn't that justification enough guys?

By now you all know that Warner Bros. and DC have decided to move Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice's release date to March of 2016, ceding May, 2016 to Captain America 3 and sparking endless variations of "DC is afraid of Marvel!" all over the Internet. And it's easy to see this as a sign of weakness. After the massive success of Guardians of the Galaxy, Marvel looks like an unstoppable juggernaut, while Warner Bros. and DC Entertainment are desperately shouting "ME TOO, ME TOO!" behind them in the distance. In fact, shouldn't DC just give up and cancel its entire slate of comic book movies? Obviously the answer is yes.

I'm kidding. It's not as bad as all that. Moviebob breaks it all down cogently here, but my own half-assed summary: it's a smart business move. After all, having two blockbusters competing for the same dollars is incredibly stupid. Further, and more importantly, WB and DC have a LOT of catching up to do if they expect to compete with Marvel and Disney. The plans for a DC Cinematic Universe absolutely hinge on Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice being a hit. Which means WB/DC can't afford to risk even one "Captain America defeats Batman and Superman" headline coinciding with BVS:DOJ's release. So move it they did, even if it means risking those headlines now.

But DC has ambitious plans for its cinematic universe, and unfortunately it's too early to be excited for any of it, since so far it's mostly "Untitled Film"s until 2020. Add to this the fact that Marvel will have dropped a total of 6 MCU films between the releases of Man of Steel and BVS:DOJ, and everything feeds into the narrative of DC as Goofus to Marvel's Gallant. Hell, it's bad enough already that every time an official image from BVS:DOJ is released, it ends up being turned into a meme before people finish their morning coffee.

Clearly, unless DC wants to spend the next two years dealing with that, the DC Cinematic Universe needs to be un-punchlined as soon as possible. Fortunately, there is one way DC could, right now, do just that, get a mountain of positive press, and make Marvel look kind of unimaginative and dickish at the same time. And it's summed up by this played out joke:

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Like I said, the joke is old but it still has a punch. That's because DC has been weirdly noncommittal about making a Wonder Woman movie because I dunno reasons, and it seems to be taking forever just to get one DCCU sequel off the ground. Add to this the recent reveal of Wonder Woman's Xena meets bondage costume*. What a bunch of mansplaining, unimaginative losers who can't even conceive of how a female superhero movie could work, especially that tool Zach Snyder, amirite?

EXCEPT.

Except Marvel has the same exact problem.

* I don't think it's terrible, or at least, I don't think the terrible things about it are innovatively terrible. It looks hilariously Xena-esque, and I definitely approve of that even if it's annoying that people pretend Wonder Woman has always looked like Xena. But the washed out colors means that Wonder Woman completes the trifecta of making DC Superheroes look like they're standing in the rain blasting Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes". On the bright side, it lightly suggests Greek Mythology, kind of, even if it is kind of stupidly stripperiffic.

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