Community Member Spotlight: Jack and Calumon

Matt Kuliani | 27 Jul 2010 16:00
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If you've spent some time on the forums, you've run across this user. You probably saw his post and said to yourself, "What?", but not to what he wrote but how he wrote it. See, Jack and Calumon is touted as the "only" split personality account on the forums. You may find the style to be annoying, entertaining, or weird but there is no argument that it's unique and memorable.

Here are their answers to the interview questions:

What first brought you to The Escapist?

I was bored. Other forums were boring me to death and I craved something where the intelligent could talk and debate while the fanboys/girls and trolls were kept under a blanket. Sadly, I was on the Internet, so this was impossible. Then one day, Zero Punctuation was featured on Joystiq. I watched, I laughed, I visited the site, and began to creep around the site for a while. Then, someone came along and said something on the Forums I didn't like so, Big-Bang-Boom, made an account and objected.

Calumon: Jack finished his post one day but wasn't well, so he went to the bathroom and asked me to post it. I decided to add a little me, and I've been here ever since!

What is your favorite thing about The Escapist?

Judging from the previous websites I go on, I like how Law abiding it is here. Users mostly follow the rules, use good grammar, and don't go out and troll or spam. It's rather refreshing to enter such a place, like entering a hot bath on a cold day.

Calumon: The bold text. :3

If The Escapist suddenly disappeared, what is the first thing you would do?

Well, I'd track down all the members through things like Formspring, Facebook, Twitter and other things since everyone links their accounts here at the drop of a hat. Then, once I have gathered them all, we shall find a new place in order to discuss such things. Then we'll probably throw money at the people in charge.

Calumon: I'd Cry and eat cake.

A zombie is attacking you and you were caught off-guard. You are startled, start running and notice a bag of marshmallows. What do you do?

Well, I can't run fast, so obviously, this Zombie is a slow bugger. I'd probably use the marshmallows to wash my wound it just gave me. Then I'd eat alot til my throat is clogged up. Finally, comes the projectile vomiting.

Calumon: Take the Marshmallows and fly away!

What is your favorite movie and why?

Some people may expect me to say Digimon: The Movie, but no. I know that is not the greatest movie ever (Shut up MetaCritic), and that's why I shall choose the new guy, Kick-Ass. This is stupid fun violence and humour. Forget Batman and his sore throat. Forget Spiderman and his insecurity. Forget Superman and him not knowing what to do. This is action made fun again.

Calumon: Uhhh... I'll do what Jack did and give you all a surprise. The Simpsons Movie.

What is your favorite type of music, band, and how did you first discover it/them?

I don't have one. I listen to just about anything. Pop, Rock, Rap, Metal, Death Metal, Heavy Metal. Not Metal Core though, that is just another way of saying Heavy Metal.

I guess if I had to pick a particular person, I would go with whoever makes the music in the Lady Gaga songs. The Music is good, but I can not for the life of me understand her when she sings. It's like a drunken parrot found a microphone. I discovered how good the music was through hearing the parodies from CardgamesFTW. Amazing how much better the music is when you take the fair lady out the picture.

Calumon: Wada Kouji. He made my opening song! (Note: Look it up!)

What do you do for a living? Do you find it interesting?

I'll tell you on Results Day. I've done my GCSEs and am awaiting the results. If their good, I'm a student. If not, I'm unemployed. Putting my money on Student though.

Calumon: I raid the fridge. It's always interesting what Jack buys!

If you could change one thing about The Escapist, what would it be?

So that it doesn't crash my internet when I load it in Firefox. Can't explain it, but it happens. One reason why I use chrome.

Calumon: Digimon Avatars in the one's supplied. I mean, You have Yu-Gi-Oh, Dragonball, and a few others, why not have Digimon? :3

Do you like bacon?

Hmmm, well I love Crispy strips that can be fried or grilled, with little bits of stringy fat on them, which are also delicious, taken straight from a pig. So... Yes.

Calumon: Only if Jack isn't cooking.

If someone gave you a million US Dollars, tax free, and you were required to spend it instead of investing, what would you spend it on?

Well let's see... The Exchange rate of US Dollars to GB Pounds is currently, at the time of writing:

0.654107797

Making My grand total of cash 654107.80. Well, first, I'll buy a house and furnish it. Nothing too big or fancy, just so that I'll have about 400'000 left. Then I'll buy 100 Death Note notebooks and send them to select members of The Escapist with the note: "You have proven yourself." This leaves me with 385'000 quid and 80 pence left. So, I guess I'll split it amongst My family. My brothers will get more than my parents, as my parents already have a house.

Calumon: Lollypops. Lots of them.

Don't ever let anyone change your style, Jack! Oh, and Calumon. Sorry.

If you would like to nominate someone for an upcoming Community Member Spotlight, feel free to let me (that is, Kuliani) know through a PM! When nominating, please tell us why this user deserves to be in the next Community Member Spotlight and provide links if possible.

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