"I would go, 'Hey, Los Angeles, we're Stumping for Incumbents' if the band name wasn't so long and so stupid."
"Hey," the new guy pipes up, "I thought I was the manager."
"He has a point," I say. "Jude told him he was the manager."
"Okay," Trevor says. "Manage."
The new guy swaps us around to different instruments. He has us move the couch into the hall to make more room so we can all see, and so the drummer is farther back. He picks a song the singer knows. He puts me on volume control duty in case the music has to be turned up to drown out the clacking drums. Under the new guy's leadership, we devise a system for all six of us to play a four-player game. There are six roles: the singer, the guitarist, the bassist, the drummer, the manager, and the roadie. The roadie is in charge of signing everyone into his own account and untangling the cables. The manager picks where we go next and sometimes what songs we play. He decides whether we do any of those special challenges, like the charity for extra fans or the corporate gig for extra money. Six people, six roles. It's perfect. Then Douglas shows up.
"Aw, Douglas, you're fucking it up."
"Hey, I made a hundred and ten bucks at poker tonight. What have you losers done beside fuck around with your little toy instruments? What are those, drums?"
"We unlocked Stockholm," the new guy says. He's playing roadie right now, hunkered down in front of the 360 tracing the unplugged cable from Trevor's microphone. It came unplugged when Trevor got a little carried away. He'd been using the wireless Guitar Hero III controller, which let him roam around, getting in everyone's way. He tried to do that thing where the bassist and guitar player lean on each other's backs, but Peter thought he was trying to get everyone to do star power. Appointing Trevor the new singer was a way to tether him, but it hasn't worked out so well.
"Okay, now we're going to Chicago," Jude the manger announces. "Also, I'm firing you from the band, Peter. You're no longer the guitarist. I'm replacing you with me. I'm the new guitarist."
"Cock," Peter says.
"The good news is that there's an opening for manager. So that's you now. You're the new manager."
