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The cobblestones on the castle walkway emit a smell of decaying monsters and chocobo dung. Pushing through the crowd at the village trading post, you make your way towards the castle. Pausing for only a brief moment to nick a few gil from an unsuspecting tourist's pocket, you struggle to swim against the surging tide of the crowd. It's much busier than usual here in Goldendew, owing to the planned arrival of the kingdom's chief military Magistrate.
That's where you come in.
Sixteen years in an orphanage taught you all the skills you needed to survive on the streets. Turns out, you needed none of them; another cruel twist in your thorny backstory, (of which you remember little). All it really takes to survive, you've discovered, is claiming you are a famous person to shake down the gullible.
Today, your target is a group of guards idling in the shade near the gate. Straightening up to full stance, you approach them.
"The Magistrate is coming today. We must prepare!" says a lanky guard.
"Do you know what the Magistrate looks like?" you demand.
"The Magistrate is coming today. We must prepare!" is the lanky guard's nervous response. You take this as a "no."
"I am the Magistrate!" you proclaim, stepping forward and twirling your petticoats in what you hope is a Magistrate-like manner. "If you give me your money, I won't punch you in the face for insubordination!"
"The Magistrate is coming today. We must prepare!" the lanky guard replies fearfully, handing over his gil. All of the guards pay you, then hustle out of sight. You heave a proud sigh - yours is truly a noble profession. Eyeing an approaching golden airship, you consider your next move.