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BioShock: A Pick Your Path Adventure

Evan Hoovler | 28 Sep 2011 21:00
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You pop all of the rocks in your mouth and bite down. You almost break your teeth, and realize this might not be the optimal way to consume these. Still, you bitterly chew until you've grinded them down to a fine powder which you force down your throat. Your throat immediately goes numb. At first you are panicked and alarmed, but that soon gives way to an overwhelming feeling of confidence. Wanting some fresh air, you rush outside and see the launch pad. You run to the launch pad and jump, every nerve in your body an exploding ball of ecstasy. You soon find yourself flying through space, you point your nose towards Earth.

Houston is shocked when a man in an unhelmeted space suit descends onto their launch pad. It only takes moments to organize a giant press conference for "the man who battled aliens." As the microphones go on and the cameras roll, all of the world eagerly leans forward to hear you recount your adventure. However, instead, you begin listing all of the people and corporations who helped you on your journey. By the time you have finished recanting, the only person in attendance is a lone C-SPAN reporter. You wave him goodnight, strip off your space suit, and head out. Your quick departure leaves you no time to see the small trilobite crawl out of the suit and slither into a corner.

YOU WIN!

- Reconstitute

Evan Hoovler also writes for Blastr and The Smoking Jacket, and he wants to be your Facebook friend.

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