Featured ArticlesPick Your Path: Super Mario Bros: Jersey ShoreFeatured Articles - RSS 2.0
You sprint away from the restaurant, tearing off your chain and shirt, people at the casino stare as you sprint through, shouting "Noooooooo!"
You bound out of the casino, hit the bus station, and catch the first bus bound for Italy.
During the bus ride, you realize you feel like a new Mario. No longer shackled by your obsession with just one woman, you realize you are free to engage in romantic pursuits throughout the galaxy. This brings you warm satisfaction you haven't known in decades, and you drift off to sleep with a wide grin on your face. Unfortunately, you wake up in terror as the bus has plunged into the Atlantic Ocean. You are too slow to swim up out of the bus: It carries you down to your watery grave.