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Pick Your Path: Super Mario Bros: Jersey Shore

Evan Hoovler | 19 Jul 2012 21:00
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Watching the angry, giant lizard scale the skyscraper, you realize that this might be more than your medical training can handle. Pulling out your banana whistle, you give it a mighty blow. Soon, Donkey Kong's enormous frame rumbles into view. The large ape begins scaling the opposite side of the casino hotel, smashing in every window he passes.

Soon, the enormous reptile and simian have weakened the foundation of the building. The structure collapses, falling to the ground in a dusty heap. Grabbing Peach, you manage to jump away just before the roof crashes down.

Having destroyed the building, DK and Bowser face off. Instead of barrel-throwing or fire-breathing, the two enemies start punching each other in the face. Bowser's puny lizard arms are no match for Donkey Kong's muscular arms. Soon, the King of Koopas is lying on the ground, his face shattered.

It wasn't the relaxing vacation you'd hoped for, but at least you came out on top with all of your friends. In celebration, Princess Peach gives you a kiss on the cheek before hopping into Donkey Kong's arms. The feeling of her lips on your cheek makes you tingle all over. As Peach and Donkey Kong are leaving to hit the clubs, you wave goodbye, knowing that her kiss is a surefire sign that she is interested in you.

CONGRATULATIONS! You have defeated Bowser and successfully survived your New Jersey vacation. This is probably the best ending you're going to find, but feel free to play again, as there are many other paths.

- Start a new 1P game

Evan Hoovler is the editor-in-chief of EgoTV.

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