What are her best qualities? "I think her obdurate nature is amazing. It's not often you see such a hard-boiled female character - they're usually either emotionally charged goodies or sex siren baddies. Lara has shot people in cold blood because they were basically in her way."
I'm not doing very well at pretending to be Lara in real life, partly because of the tricky-to-negotiate gender reversal. How does it feel, as a female gamer, to so often be playing as a big macho guy? "I do think that it's harder to take on a male role and feel invested in the character if you're a female gamer," says Kirsten. "Gamers embody the character while playing so you have to feel some connection to them, and I'm just not a Marcus Fenix kind of gal. It's quite frustrating online if there's a choice of characters to play but they are all male."
As a male videogame journalist, I contractually have to say something about Lara's chest. Any thoughts? "Just like with real women, she's often dismissed as just being a dolly bird because of her blouse-cakes. But all the female staff at Ready Up worship her, so she's got to be doing something right."
Good role model? Definitely. Although those cakes are a lie.
4. Amigo
Notable traits: Maraca-shaking. Dancing. Grinning.
The perpetually-beaming monkey from Samba de Amigo has been on my mind since an intense week-long session with the Wii reimagining of the old arcade and Dreamcast rhythm flailer. Of all the videogame characters I can think of, Amigo is the one that seems to be having the best time, all the time. No kidnapped princesses. No hellish science-gone-wrong experiments. No overwhelming alien invasions.
Everywhere Amigo goes instantly turns into a life-affirming carnival, a jamboree of blazing colors and irresistible, throbbing beats. No wonder he only has one facial expression - he's constantly in samba paradise.
So I start with that infectious grin, despite not being a habitual smiler. This sudden, leering display of teeth has the knock-on effect of creating cartoonish apple cheeks on my face in a way that's slightly reminiscent of Yoshi, or the tricycling marionette from the Saw movies. It actually starts to ache after a few minutes. This isn't working. I allow my visage to relax back into neutral, but it goes all the way to frown.
Can one truly say they are channelling the spirit of Amigo without having an enormous grin unceasingly plastered on their face? Of course not. Don't be ridiculous! Although you can try to adopt different roles, it seems that if there's no sympathetic resonance with your immutable nature, they won't take. And apparently there's just no carefree samba in my desiccated soul. I solemnly place my sombrero back in the wardrobe and close the door. I'm in a very foul mood.
Good role model? Not for everyone, it seems.
Graeme Virtue is a freelance writer based in Scotland. He recently managed to get Aquaman to open up about being excluded from Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe.
