Obviously these views seldom make it into the media. Instead, we hear alarmism from opportunistic politicians, talk show pundits and every busybody with a letterhead. None of them play games with their own kids, or at least none admit it. Dr. Jeanne B. Funk, psychology professor at the University of Toledo in Ohio, has built much of her academic career arguing that violent video games desensitize children to violence, and parents must closely monitor and limit their children's play. But in her many papers on the subject, Funk never suggests parents should play the games themselves. The thought seems never to cross her mind.
Gamer Parents Are Better Parents
Donna and Jack can use games as effective parenting tools because they know and play the games. "George was behind the benchmarks for kindergarten in letter recognition and associated sounds," Donna remembers. "So over spring break he'd sit behind me and I'd use the World of Warcraft in-game page function to send him letters and phonics combos. (I have logs that go 'B' - 'f' - 'J' - 'TH.') He was so excited, and he'd yell 'em out. After he could call out the letters really well, I let him sit on my lap and call out mobs I'd go after. He would have to spell the names of the monster before I'd shoot at it. We got killed a lot early on - WoW mobs have big fantasy names, weird unfamiliar letter combinations - but he got faster and faster. George's teacher was very impressed with the progress we made over spring break - which is entirely due to the WoW pager function."
Knowing the games is key, though the importance of actually playing them depends on the game type. Donna says, "For an MMOG, I would strongly recommend playing with your kids until you think they're old enough to be alone. That's why we guild carefully, and tell folks we know that our kids are kids. We have friends in-game who can look out for the kids if we aren't online at the moment. Now for an RTS, it's less important to play with them. If you aren't a gamer, that would be painful - but if you know enough to converse intelligently about it, that's great.
"Games, in my household at least, give new life to the humanities. My kids will know Egyptian dynastic culture because I'll show them that stuff offline once I catch it in-game. Architecture, culture, religion, economics ... If you are playing in a virtual world inspired by the real one, you have a great opportunity to make those 'boring' social studies classes interesting.
"Another key point for me centers around 'identity.' My kids have to hold their own, think on their own and be their own individuals in a world that will increasingly rely on the 'virtual.' How you present yourself in a game that you play for six months on a daily basis does have real impact, especially for my kids who are likely to be gaming with future employers or wives. Your real-life maturity and wisdom is (or isn't!) demonstrated in-game. The game makes it easier to be someone you aren't - and if you spend a lot of time being someone else, who are you, really?
"I'm very clear with the kids that their characters in-game are extensions and expressions of themselves. When we played Black and White, Harry couldn't be 'evil.' It isn't behavior he should be emulating, or aspiring to be ... not as a kid."
If more parents played games, it would expand the audience, and probably the range of subjects publishers could sell. If more people knew games as parenting tools, they could get the politicians to target some other victim. So the industry should get the word out: Parents who join in their kids' electronic games often become better parents.
