I still remembered playing with him as a child. The gifts and collectibles he would give to me and my siblings are still lying around the house. But at the same time, there was an intellectual side of him that was gone, just as soon as I was old enough to appreciate it. As I sat there, I drew parallels between his calm, relaxed manner, and myself, immersed in gaming. The same atmosphere that had allowed me a feeling of wonderment was at the same time giving him a feeling of comfort. We were both isolated in our own ways from what was happening around us, but at the same time we both belonged. I have never forgotten what I saw in him that night, and it is a lesson that I've always treasured, especially now that he has passed away.
From that point on, I looked more closely at those around me. I thought about what simple things like holidays and family meant to them. My other grandfather, who had also suffered a stroke, had lost his ability to speak, but whenever I saw him with family, every glance, every movement he made, spoke volumes. I learned something about people that Christmas. It doesn't really matter what's actually happening around us, so much as it's the feelings we got from the events, whether it was holidays or vacations or hobbies. I understood the quality of an experience isn't measured only by objective values and quantities.
Later that night, I went back to Final Fantasy VII, and played further along into the storyline. My fascination didn't decrease with my furthering progress, but rather intensified. It's always been that way for me with games. A lot of the times when I enjoy games, it's not because of the way it plays or how good the graphics are; it's usually about how the game made me feel, from giddy to amazed. Games have always provided a means of isolation or escapism for their players. But I've always felt that no matter how isolated we are from anything, the feelings we get from what we are doing - reading, gaming, watching movies, anything really - they're the real part, they're the ties that bind.
We can be isolated from common realities and still feel real and breathtaking emotion in what we're doing. Gaming is really just an extension of our lives, maybe in a different realm or a different reality, but what we feel through them is still just as poignant as anything we feel in the real world. No matter how isolationist gaming may seem to some, this is a reality that is inescapable for gamers: It's because of these feelings, and this legitimacy, that we all love playing videogames.
Sean Fischer is the Editor-in-Chief of All RPG
