"Sorry, honey, I know you're dead, so there's really no way you could have written me a letter. We loved each other and had companionship, but who needs that, anyway? The only companions I need right now are Mr. Valium and Mrs. Prozac, and what a fine trio we make."
I did fully immerse myself in one game, however; I even got all the way through it (and I was so proud of myself).
Resident Evil 2 was a game I first got the opportunity to play when it was ported to the N64, utilizing "revolutionary" compression technology to fit the audio and video onto the cartridge (i.e., crappy sound and artifact-laden video). Having heard so much about it, I simply had to play.
Readers who recall my fondness for playing as characters with breasts will know that I selected the lovely Claire Redfield to guide me through the hellish post-apocalyptic streets of Raccoon City.
Unfortunately, I can't tell you exactly how it went from beginning to end, because it took me three months to finish, what with all the stops and starts I took. I do remember the moment when a Licker jumped through a one-way mirror in the police station; I just about ruined the fabric I was sitting on. I cursed out all the game developers and the entire disturbed unholy horde at Capcom.
I did make it, though, and that's something for which I am proud. As that last, blocky cinematic exploded onto the screen, I had a real feeling of accomplishment. I, an avid SHP, had conquered one of the titans of the genre I so avoided. Sure, Silent Hill was out of my reach, and F.E.A.R. would probably remain just an acronym, but, that day, I was victorious!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go see if I can get my nephew to check under my bed. It's dark under there ...
Tom Rhodes is a writer and filmmaker currently living in Ohio. He can be reached through Tom [dot] Rhod [at] gmail [dot] com
