Hands-On Gaming

OK Computer

"The fatal flaw of teledildonics is not that it's weird. It's that although the toys can stimulate most body parts and orifices reasonably well, they can't stimulate the most crucial sex organ of all: the brain. Teledildonics tends to separate the mind from sex. But the mind makes sex fun, addictive. Without it, you just get friction, fluids and occasional release. So, I think that's why the technology hasn't succeeded yet; few people find anything mentally stimulating about an Xbox controller.

"It doesn't necessarily have to be that way. If a sex toy were developed in tandem with a game release, then sure, I could see it succeeding. But the sex toy and the game would need to be closely interlinked. They'd need to work together, instead of parallel to each other, to satiate a player's desires.

"Of course, I'm mostly speculating. Although I've been curious enough about teledildonics to write about it, I'm still too timid to have actually tried any of these devices myself. But the truth is, I can't think of anything less sexy than gaming electronics. They're hard, cold and plastic. It would be like masturbating with a coffee maker, or a steering wheel or a potted plant. Sure, you could do it, I guess, but why? And I think that's the question that needs to be answered before teledildonics will ever see any mainstream success (if ever)."

Longview
"I've written about the human side of technology my entire career," says Regina Lynn. "But since I started 'Sex Drive,' I've focused on the relationship between sex and tech. I have had long-distance relationships and cyberspace relationships in my life where these 'intimate interfaces' would have been a boon!

"In 10 years, everyone will know that you can control a sex toy over the internet. (It's amazing how many people don't know this already.) In 20 years, no one will care - or rather, it will have the same reputation that cybersex does now, because it will simply be another way that people have cybersex. Like now, some prefer webcams, some prefer avatars, some alternate. But I think it will take closer to 20 years ... for intimate interfaces to become that ordinary. The technology develops faster than Americans' ability to handle it."

Kyle Machulis, as one might expect from the quirky creator of the SeXBox, sees the future of teledildonics as far more bleak.

"On the macro scale," he says, "we've got a long, long way to go in terms of realism. Right now, all we've got is a vibration motor you can remotely change speeds on. That's not exactly like real sexual interaction. We'll start to see machines that can imitate the experience, and then possibly build on it.

"Then, someday, it'll become better than having sex with other people and we'll all forget how to screw each other and reproduce and the species will die out.

"Except for me. I know what's coming. My plans are in place. I will be King."

Russ Pitts is an Associate Editor for The Escapist. He has been writing on the web since it was invented and claims to have played every console ever made. He also mixes a fantastic Perfect Manhattan.