Guy Cry Cinema
Why The Dark Knight Rises Makes Guys Cry

Firefilm | 26 Aug 2014 19:00
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Alfred's implied fatherhood is immediately and savagely amputated. Not only is his "Son" rejecting him as a father, but he's using Alfred's professionalism against him. No matter how much they've been through, he will still always refer to his charge as "Master Bruce," if anything to remind the young man that his parents' legacy lives. While Bruce's personal dismissal of Alfred is painful, his professional dismissal is even worse. He has severed Alfred's ability to show his love through his work.

Even after that, Michael "Tangerine" Caine tries to warn Bat-Wayne that eight years of sulking might have softened his belly a bit, but Bruce is all "I'll chug a Redbull and be done with Bane before dinner, brah." Bane then performs a ca-ca-ca-combo breaker on Batman, dumping him in a prison pit with a TV so he can watch Bane touch his toys without permission.

At the end of the movie, after Talia al Ghul reveals who she is and immediately dies due to being stupid, Batman is left with a horrible choice. He must fly the McGuff-nuke away from the city in the Bat-plane, sans autopilot. Seriously guys, he doesn't have autopilot, so don't ask about it because he totally doesn't have it. (He has it.) Everyone, including Alfred, sees Batman fly into the bay to irradiate the entire Eastern seaboard. The ending montage begins and they hold a funeral at Wayne Manor. A tombstone for Bruce sits next to his parents, with Alfred bawling his eyes out in front of them. "I've failed you," Michael gurgles. Despite thirty years of his best effort to be a father, a mother, a brother, and a crime-fighting partner to the boy, Alfred has failed Thomas and Martha in his primary task: he has let tragedy consume their boy. Their deaths defined Bruce so much that all the love and respect and support from Alfred still amounted to a life of isolation and a violent death.

To fail so completely, to have been deconstructed so thoroughly, and to have such a classy actor crying like a baby at the grave of his friends and family...this is why this movie makes guys cry.

Like what you see? Secure enough in your masculinity for more? Dan also works on No Right Answer, the weekly debate show that knows what's really important: Pointlessly arguing about geek culture.

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