Guy Cry Cinema
5 Post-Apocalypse Movies That Make Guys Cry

Firefilm | 19 Nov 2014 13:00
Guy Cry Cinema - RSS 2.0

4. The Book of Eli
Also known as "Fallout 3: The Movie." This film is perhaps my favorite film on this list, because it's both bleak and hopeful. Again, unspecified disaster has killed most of the Earth, even going so far as to cover the landscape with explosion craters. Eli has a Bible that he is Blues Brothering across the nation, being badass along the way. Sure we find out (SPOILERS) that he's been blind the whole time, but clearly it doesn't hinder him at all.

The saddest part for me is a much understated moment regarding his backpack. Denzel "Sexy-az-hell" Washington has a backpack with all his supplies, and a nametag that reads "Hi, my name's Eli". This suggests that Eli was a child young enough to need a nametag on his bag when the world ended. It also suggests that he had a loving family that provided him with said bag. I...I need to go hug my kid now. Possibly buy him a backpack. And the cool-looking iPod I saw during movie... HEY! Wait a second...

5. Snowpiercer
I saved this one for last, because it's a recent movie and many might not want to have any spoilers. If not, this film's on Netflix instant now and I highly recommend a viewing. And now, SPOOOOIIIIILERS!

A botched global warming fix leaves survivors on a self-sustaining train circling a completely frozen Earth. Poor people in back, rich in front, natch. While Captain America and Hellboy's dad organize a revolt to equal the playing field, many secrets and surprises result in only Cap making it to the front of the train. Now there's a "shocking" reveal that the poor people have been eating cockroaches without knowing it, but honestly protein is protein. What's truly depressing is how we see humans beings used in different ways. The school is used as propaganda, indoctrinating kids to the new way of life. Poor people with artistic skills are forced to entertain the front of the train. The worst being children replacing parts that break, literally used as cogs in the machine. Kept in toolboxes and forced to work in areas not any bigger, these children all but lose their sentience and become a machine.

Was the plan to just keep going until the only humans left are keeping a train running for the sake of keeping it running? Ouch. How nihilistic.

Like what you see? Secure enough in your masculinity for more? Check out more Guy Cry Cinema or watch Dan on No Right Answer, the weekly debate show that knows what's really important: Pointlessly arguing about geek culture.


Comments on