Guy Cry Cinema
5 Not-Really Christmas Movies that Make Guys Cry

Firefilm | 7 Jan 2016 20:30
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DISCLAIMER: This is not a series dedicated to proving men shouldn't cry, or to suggest ONLY women cry and are therefore inferior. The goal of this series is to dispel the pre-established (yet flawed) notion that being "manly" and being disconnected from your emotions go hand-in-hand. Even the most macho of men enjoy and even shed a tear at films, and the sooner we can admit that the sooner the concept that one sex is better than the other can go away. While the approach to these articles is one of light-hearted comedy, the emotional core is valid. While men might be more hesitant to admit it, movies often times have the potential to make us cry, for example:

"Christmas Movies that aren't Christmas Movies"

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it, and a hearty "Up yours" to anyone offended by that (keep in mind I'm Jewish, so you have no excuse). As families all over the world polish off whatever who-feast they've spent the day preparing, many lethargic relatives will suggest popping in a Christmas-themed film. Groaning, you lean over to your movie shelf (or fire up your streaming service if you are young and hip) to see what repetitive syrupy sweet sludge to watch. Fear not, those who are sick of the stop-motion cartoons of yore...and rest your heads, those who can't stand another viewing of A Christmas Story. There are exciting, action-packed, heart-pumping films that dance around the Christmas pool without jumping in. These plots take place during the holiday but don't necessarily have to, instead using the themes and settings of Christmas to enhance an already amazing film. While there are enough Christmas touches to qualify as a holiday tradition, you won't have to claw your eyes out due to repetitive viewings.

1. Die Hard

A cop in the right place at the wrong time fights against both organized thieves and overzealous police. This is a movie that didn't have to be set at Christmas, yet is so much richer for it. First of all, the juxtaposition of the Christmas decorations in the office tower against the hyperviolence that made this film a classic action movie is delicious. Plus, who can forget the famous line "Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho." You can't swap out another holiday and get anywhere near the amount of joy from Alan Rickman deadpanning around. Many consider this a Christmas must-watch, yet it's perfectly viable year round. Try saying that about "Frosty the Snowman."

There are several parts of this film that hit us in the feels. Carl Winslow being forced to shoot someone despite his PTSD. Bruce "Did that guy ever have hair" Willis saving his ex-wife, insinuating that instead of getting the girl, he already got her and then lost her and this experience won't really change that. But don't forget the background character who tried to be a protagonist. Mr. Takagi is asked to aid the terrorists and refuses. He is promptly killed for not being Bruce Willis, despite Mr. Takagi's noble efforts to protect his people and their assets. Mr. Takagi died for your sins.

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