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'Rassle Dazzle: A Wrestlemania Recap

Bob "MovieBob" Chipman | 7 Apr 2014 16:00
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andre giant battle

Match III: Andre the Giant memorial battle royale

Thirty guys, mostly consistent peformers who didn't otherwise have gigs for the night, all fighting at once until last man standing (over the top rope = out) for a huge statue/trophy of the late great legend, Andre the Giant. Pure, ridiculous spectacle (set up as the "brainchild" of Hogan, which I kind of doubt) with little rhyme or reason, but fun in the way these things tend to be. Mid-match highlight easily Kofi Kingston staying "in" when he lands with his feet touching the ring steps.

The "surprise" victor is Antonio Cesaro, after improbably managing to deadlift and dispatch the 450lbs Paul "Big Show" Wight (the supposed favorite) in a manner that just-so-happened to recall Hogan's legendary defeat of Andre WrestleMania III. What a coinkydink!

Cesaro sells it, though, and it's been a long time coming - the guy's a real talent who's struggled to find traction or a solid angle of his own. This, plus the non-event of the earlier Tag bout almost certainly means the beginning of the end for his association with The Real Americans, whose bad-guy gimmick (a gang of anti-immigrant xenophobes inspired by the Minutemen) never fully took off. He'll probably be turning on teammate Jack Swagger and manager Zeb Colter on Monday's RAW.

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