MovieBob - Intermission
Most Boring Opinions in Geek Culture - Part II

Bob "MovieBob" Chipman | 28 Dec 2012 12:00
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14. Easy mode ruins games.

It's a game, not the SATs. Get over yourself.

13. Casual gamers have ruined gaming.

Commentary unnecessary.

12. Mario is a cipher and not a character.

Kinda. Most characters who hail from the very beginning of a given medium tend to be a little light on the nuance. Speaking of something being really old? "Edgy" takedowns of a given medium's big mascot/headliner. Hey, you wanna "stick it" to Mickey Mouse next? Fight the pow-ah!

11. Too much of modern pop culture is based on nostalgia.

Unquestionably, but it's hardly a new phenomenon. It only seems worse right now because the nostalgia market and the 18-35 year-old market are right now overlapping for the first time, whereas previously they were segregated by significant margins.

10. Roger Moore was the worst James Bond.

Moore gets a bad rap, mostly because he was A.) always a little too old/not quite appropriate for the role of "bad-ass spy," and B.) occupying the role when the series really hit its rigidly formulaic point. Also formulaic, though? The reflexive tendency to namecheck Moore as the "worst" while ignoring just how forgettable most of Dalton's installments were. Honestly, I think the argument can be made that Pierce Brosnan was the worst in some respects.

9. Sean Connery was the best James Bond.

He probably was, but good lord can we get off it already?

8. Only the even-numbered Star Trek movies are good.

This doesn't hold up at all - Search for Spock is only lesser in the sense that it had to follow Wrath of Khan.

7. Sonic the Hedgehog sucks now.

Yes, fine. But let's not pretend like Sonic's catalogue was ever even remotely bad game free. Anyone tried to go back and play through Sonic 3D Blast lately?

6. Capcom hates its fans.

Probably. If I had some of Capcom's fans, I might be inclined to troll them, too.

5. Fratboy "bro" gamers ruined gaming.

Y'know what's ruining gaming, folks? Dicing the audience up into little teams so we can find one or two of them to blame.

4. Dubbing a foreign language game/movie/anime ruins it.

I prefer to see foreign-language productions in their original tongue, but "ruins" is a stretch. Especially for games and anime, where the characters weren't actually speaking to begin with.

3. Manga is superior to Western comics because its stories have endings.

Yes, manga comes to an end instead of going on forever with convoluted continuity. Instead, it starts the same story over and tells it again. And again. That's much better.

2. That Nicolas Cage sure acts weird in a lot of movies.

There's actually a lot of interesting things to explore and say about the strange arc of Nicolas Cage's career and public persona in terms of what it means to be a "movie star" in present-day popular culture. None of those interesting things will be improved by spamming "NotTheBees.gif".

1. Superman is too powerful to be an interesting character.

Yeah, this gets to land at #1, both because its one of the oldest and because it's among the most tiresome.

Setting aside the fact that the trials and tribulations of literal gods informs the plots of some of the most celebrated works of human drama, the notion of this particular character being too assured of victory befuddles me given that he exists in a genre wherein the hero being assured victory has generally been part of the appeal since the beginning. Is Superman "always winning" because he's got alien super-strength really fundamentally different from Batman or Wolverine "always winning" because they're just so awesome?

So there's the list. Here's hoping I don't wind up having to expand this to 100 sometime down the line (spoiler: I'll probably have to).

Bob Chipman is a film critic and independent filmmaker. If you've heard of him before, you have officially been spending way too much time on the internet.

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