MovieBob - Intermission
MovieBob Presents E3: The Movie

Bob "MovieBob" Chipman | 6 Jun 2014 16:00
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die hard trailer explosions

SCENE THIRTY-THREE

INT. MAIN STAGE
The building is collapsing all around itself, with lots of awesome explosions and fiery debris. Tons of the big displays and booths are on fire, especially the one where Tress would've been wearing her stupid costume which is ironic or a metaphor for something.Only Dirk and the Terrorist Leader remain, standing on the stage while the big screens display random glitchy game footage behind them. Terrorist Leader still has the samurai sword he stole from that one cosplay girl who fought so bravely until the end against the Henchmen in Scene Twenty-Six, thus teaching Dirk about not judging books or something. Dirk, unarmed, has the flash drive with the last of the encryptions.


TERRORIST LEADER
Give me the encryptions!

DIRK HARDEMAN
Never.

TERRORIST LEADER
Why do you fight so hard, American?
You, who do not even have a weapon?
(gestures at screens)
Look around you, comrade infidel!
This is what you protect? A fake
country of plastics and beeping;
whose children worship heroes of
plastics and beeping instead of
true men of war like you.
Hah! In fact, you should be
(beat)
ROOTING for me to destroy it
all, now and forever!!!

DIRK HARDEMAN
I used to think like you, pal. But
I learned something today. Heroes
come in all sizes, and this E3?
This place was full of `em. Not
just Ghost or Ezio or Kratos or
Shepherd or any of the other funny
names I learned today...
(beat)
...but also President Xbox for standing
up to you. Or that brave kid whose
sword you took. Or the guys toughing
it out on the booth lines. Or the
game journalists braving exhaustion
just to get the early scoops. Or
Tress. Or my pal Doug.
(beat)
Yeah... I used to think like you...

TERRORIST LEADER
And now!?

DIRK HARDEMAN
Now... I'm playin' with POWER!

DIRK produces a pair of WII REMOTES tied-together at the wrist-straps, spins them like those Ninja things! (Note: We think they're called "numbchunks." Look into this.)

Dirk and Terrorist Leader have a TOTALLY SICK MARTIAL-ARTS FIGHT with their weapons, then their fists, until Dirk finally crushes his nemesis to death with one of the huge stage speakers.

DIRK HARDEMAN
Play it loud, mother f***er.

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