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Sherlock Holmes is a Coke Fiend

The new Sherlock Holmes movies with Robert Downey Jr. shocked a lot of casual fans with onscreen depictions of the hero's bohemian proclivities, but it's still a far cry from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's original stories, where the great detective's preferred vice was shooting up liquefied cocaine. Naturally, drug laws and mores were different in Victorian England, but don't look for this to rear its head in the new series any time soon - though this is where Holmes' modern-day analogue, Dr. House, gets his Vicodin habit from.

Joker Meets the Ayatollah

Christopher Nolan has, wisely, vetoed future appearances by The Joker in his next (last?) Batman movie following the death of Heath Ledger. It's certainly a loss in terms of stories that won't be told, but I know at least one that wouldn't have been on the list either way.

The mid-1980s Death In The Family Batman storyline is best remembered for the tacky publicity stunt of letting readers vote on whether to let Joker murder Jason Todd, aka "Robin #2." (They voted "dead.") That part is so well-remembered that almost no one cared about the story's most ridiculous element: Joker gets away with the killing via diplomatic immunity because he's been appointed the Iranian Ambassador to the United Nations by Ayatollah Khomeini. And yes, the depictions of Middle Easterners and Joker's association therewith are as unpleasant as you're imagining.

Godzilla Fought Against the U.S. in WWII

In retrospect, it's pretty amazing that the Godzilla series, which started out using a rampaging atomic dinosaur as an explicit metaphor for the atomic bombing of Japan, has always been so popular in America - so popular that we're due for another (hopefully better) American remake again soon.

But in 1991, someone at Toho Pictures apparently decided to see how far the uneasy fandom peace could be stretched: Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah reveals a new origin where, prior to his irradiation, Godzilla was a "normal" dinosaur who saved an island full of Japanese soldiers from an American naval attack during The Big One. Not only that, but Godzilla's ultimate foe Ghidorah is now a bioweapon unleashed by duplicitious time-traveling westerners trying to halt Japanese financial domination in the future.
The "2nd Series" of Godzilla movies always had trouble getting released in the U.S., and this one probably didn't help the process. So don't expect this aspect of the mythology in the new one.

Spider-Man Was Molested

Yeah.

So, in the 80s, comic books were still widely read by actual children, so frequently "free giveaway" comics were commissioned to hawk products, local events and - in some cases - deliver public services messages to the young ones.
Perhaps the most infamous of these is "Spider Man & Power Pack" (a kid hero team), in which Spidey helps teach a young victim the importance of not keeping sexual abuse a secret by relating the story of a "young boy" who was molested by an older classmate ... a "young boy" whom the readers can see is Peter Parker himself!

Obviously, this was an effort with its heart in the right place - but given that pre-internet it was hard for younger fans to tell what was a "real" story and what was a "special message," you've gotta wonder how many traumatized young readers were wondering if "that guy" was running around in one of the villain costumes now.

Leonardo Killed Raphael (He Got Better) After Learning That Either of Them Could Be the True Father of April O'Neil's Half-Human/Half-Turtle Child, Mona

That didn't actually happen. I just wanted to make sure you were paying attention.

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