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The Expendables

The Movie: I've already said my piece.

The Moment: Together at last.

Sylvester Stallone, playing a mercenary, goes to meet with a prospective client. OMG! It's Bruce Willis! They both await the arrival of a "rival" mercenary. OMFG! Then-governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger! The Big Three of 80s action stars finally meet onscreen, trade a series of inside jokes about their weight, age and careers ... and then it's over. The audience gets a chuckle, and the movie gets enough footage of The Three for the trailers to sell a vastly more epic-level cast than the film actually has.

The Lost World: Jurassic Park

The Movie: Steven Spielberg phones in a sequel, and still does a better job than some filmmakers do when they're actually trying.

The Moment: T-Rex unleashed.

The lone drawback to the magnificent dinosaur action in the Jurassic Park films is that despite the hook of dinosaurs being resurrected in the modern world, they're mostly confined to a prehistoric-looking island, and as any dino-loving 10 year-old can tell you, the only real reason to bring dinosaurs back is to see them go Godzilla in the Big City. And as the post-climax fourth act to the sloppy sequel, that's exactly what we get. It makes no sense, it's blatant pandering, it obliterates the structure of the film ... but after a (17 year) lifetime of waiting I got to see a photo-realistic tyrannosaurus stomp the ever-living crap out of the suburbs, and it was worth the wait.

The Protector (aka Tom Yum Goong)

The Movie: Muy Thai fighting star turned walking self-caricature Tony Jaa elbows his way through what plays out like the most violent Walt Disney story ever, attempting to rescue his stolen pet elephants from a crimelord's illegal endangered species restaurant. No, really.

The Moment: One-take brawl.

The Protector is one of the silliest martial arts films ever made, which is really saying something, but the fight scenes are nothing short of incredible - and this is the most incredible of all. It's a jaw-dropping marriage of Jaa's inhuman physical prowess (it's almost a given that this scene is the highlight of his career) and the filmmakers' technical mastery. Jaa fights his way from the bottom floor to the top level of the bad guys' hideout, taking down wave after wave of henchmen - in one unbroken six minute shot. The camera follows Jaa from the beginning to the end of his rampage without a single cut or edit - it's just one absolutely massive piece of fight choreography that must be seen to be believed. It's like watching an entire Final Fight level in live action. The movie? Goofy. Jaa? Not the second coming of Bruce Lee he was billed as. But this? Astonishing.

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