Love FAQ

Love FAQ
Taking Fashion Tips from Tim Curry and Other Matters of the Heart

Lara Crigger | 28 Oct 2011 16:00
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Dear U-Haul,

Your first mistake was moving in with a girl after four months of dating.

Your second mistake was moving in with someone even though you weren't ready for it.

Your third mistake was not drawing up a budget when you first moved in together.

What's done is done, of course. You can't change it now. All you can do is make sure you don't make the same mistakes twice.

As for how to get out now, the first thing you should do is start saving money now. Moving is expensive, not to mention your new apartment might cost more than your current living arrangements. Also, it wouldn't hurt to draft a preliminary budget for what your finances will look like when you do leave, so you'll know how to make ends meet without any nasty surprises.

Next, start listing your allies. Talk to your friends and family; let them know your plans and that you'd appreciate any assistance that they'd be willing to provide. Consider that you may also need to crash with a friend or parent for awhile, until you find a new place to live.

In the meantime, start trawling Craigslist or your local apartment pages for new digs. Start today. Don't wait.

One final thought: It isn't your problem whether she's alright without you. Your primary concerns should be yourself and your own problems - including figuring out why you thought moving in with such a nutcase would be a good idea in the first place.

Dear Love FAQ,

I am a girl who is really into another girl. I go to the same school as her and have known her for a while. This year we've started to get closer, and she invited me to her Dungeons & Dragons group. I'm having a blast, not just with her, but with all her friends.

The problem is, she's straight. Her boyfriend is the DM. I've accepted that nothing will ever happen between us, and I know that I'm young and there will be plenty more girls in the future. It still hurts though.

At this point I'm just terrified about her ever finding out. I really value her friendship and I don't want things to be awkward with us, or with the D&D group. At the same time it's tearing me apart inside, her not knowing just how much she means to me. Should I tell her, or keep my feelings to myself?

Wanting Jessie's Girl

Dear Wanting,

Keep your feelings to yourself. You don't tell someone you like them unless you expect some sort of response: acceptance, rejection, validation, etc. But she's straight and already has a boyfriend. What response do you think she can give you?

It doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, bi, ace, whatever; she just isn't the right one for you. Instead of mooning over this girl, who wouldn't return your feelings even if she were single, find yourself someone who will.

Disclaimer: LoveFAQ is written by Lara Crigger, who is by no means a trained psychiatrist or therapist or even a middle school guidance counselor - just a smart gal who wants to help out her fellow geek. LoveFAQ is meant for entertainment purposes only, so don't take it as a substitute for professional advice. If you have real problems, consult your physician.

Got a burning question (or a question about burning) for LoveFAQ? Send your emails to All submissions are confidential and anonymous.

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