Love FAQ

Love FAQ
Stop Camping Your Girlfriend for Sex

Lara Crigger | 18 Nov 2011 16:00
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LoveFAQ is a weekly advice column for geeks, by geeks about love, life and maxing out your romance meter. Got questions for LoveFAQs? Send them to advice@escapistmag.com.

Dear Love FAQ,

If I were in an online relationship - where we've never met in-person before - would driving three hours to their house at a scheduled time to make physical contact make me creepy? Or, at least, a total loser?

Sincerely,
Your Answer Is Relevant To My Interests

Dear Answer,

Stop being all You've Got Mail about this. This is 2011. People meet online all the time nowadays. There's nothing to be ashamed about. Twenty years ago, people used classifieds. Today it's Craigslist. It's not a big deal either way.

But that doesn't mean you should be stupid about it, either.

If you're meeting this person for the first time, do not meet at his or her house. Always meet in public first, preferably at some neutral place (a coffee shop, a restaurant, etc.) located somewhere halfway between.

I say this not because I'm some self-righteous Luddite who thinks all internet strangers are pedophiles and serial killers, but because lack of chemistry can squash even the most casual of random encounters. What happens if you find that in meat space, you aren't actually all that attracted to each other? Then you've wasted all that gas to spend time counting Hummel figurines in a stranger's dining room, without even the promise of sex to make it all bearable. So in love as in war, survey your battlefield first before you move in all your troops.

In addition, as with any new sexual partner, you should discuss STDs and boundaries before the clothes come off. And use protection! Casual sex doesn't inherently mean stupid sex, too.

Other than that, go forth and have fun. Go unlock some achievements for all of us.

Dear Love FAQ,

I've been with my boyfriend for almost four months now. But recently, I've started to feel like I'm being taken for granted.

When I go over to his place, we usually have sex a few times that night, but then the rest of the time he'll be online, or playing a computer game. I'm a gamer myself, and I'd never want to interfere with his game time. But I can't help but think that, since I'm there, he should be spending his time with me.

I know there's a limit to how much time you can spend cuddling between coitus, but I do feel a little neglected when he gets up to play a computer game, and I'm expected to just wait in bed. I don't expect his undivided attention at all times, but is it too much to ask that he spend some time with me, since I made the effort to see him?

I've considered split-screen or co-op, but we both prefer single-player, so it's not like we can make the gaming thing work for us. And since it's his house, there's nothing much I can do to amuse myself, except watch him play.
I don't know how to talk to him about it, because I don't want to seem needy and clingy. But I don't want to put up with this anymore either. Help!

Thanks,
Camped for Sex

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