Kyle: Can I just say for the record, the cards were not stacked in my favor this week. Bond is one smooth SOB to be sure, but he has nothing on the almighty Shatner. That being said, I have a few easy ones that Dan thankfully missed, thus sparing me total embarrassment.

For starters, Kirk has more potential for sexual prowess. The man has the technology to teleport. Okay? Bond's got some kick-ass vehicles and travels all over the world in a fantastic, abrupt fashion. But Kirk can dematerialize and rematerialize from one woman/sexually active Halloween costume to another. Think of the amount of times he must have teleported to a woman's room still wiping the glitter makeup off himself from the last ... tucking the being's phone number into his wallet. It's like he would never stop. Like in every room within reach of the Enterprise could turn into a futuristic 60's shag pad at any time.

We should also take rank into account here. While James Bond is a Double-0 agent and a Commander of Her Majesty's Navy, nothing speaks more about a man's virility than Captain. Captain of the whole damn ship. Hundreds of souls on board, all at his command. Imagine the difference in pick-up lines:

"After we blow up this guy's underground lair, we should make sweet love on the beach. It's a private island so no one is around for hundreds of ... oh, wait. That's my extraction helicopter. Can't keep my CIA contact waiting, gotta report to M, justify the ridiculous explosions and unauthorized assassinations and whatnot. You know how it is. Call me if you're ever cleared of those espionage and treason charges. I have a license to kill, but you really have no hall pass for accessory." -James Bond

Meanwhile, "I'm on an open-ended mission to explore everything. I answer to no one, really. Except the prime directive. And speaking of which, may I direct you to the command bridge of my gigantic effing space liner? I'll let you sit in the Captain's chair. You can tell the helmsman 'Steady as she goes.' It'll be fun. Anybody gives you shit, just say you're my new Yeoman. Matter of fact, you want to be my new Yeoman? I can do that. Field endorsement, followed by a field promotion. Did I mention I'm the Captain?"

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