No Right Explanation

No Right Explanation
Live-Action Cartoons and Why They Fail

Firefilm | 16 Apr 2012 16:00
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Dan: What a twist! Ah, the joke that has to be explained is not only a failed joke, but a joke that's no longer funny. The fact that the points showed Chris winning but the footage showed Kyle winning was supposed to be a nod at a failed twist ending of Shyamalan fame. It seems his movies have become so poison and tasteless that references to his movies are now starting to fail. Thanks M. Night. Thanks.

So, let's go over the points that did get tallied, and I will point out one that should have been counted as well. First point went to Kyle for what I think we can all agree was strike one in The Last Airbender's first mistake. M. Night has never seen an episode of the cartoon he supposedly is a great fan of. I picked the present tense of "Has" instead of past tense because I am sure he's still not seen the show. Why should he, he's already made the money? Say what you want about the Dragonball movie, I'm pretty sure the director has at least seen enough episodes to know that it involves a monkey monster. Right?

Second point went to Chris for pointing out Fox's failures to know what to do with it's properties, something that happens so often they should get a free sandwich by now. The Dragonball movie could have been a great many quality things, but after being in development hell for so long, there was weird moldy growths on all the script pages. No one wants that, especially the movie-viewing audience.

Kyle comes back with another point that does make you wonder if movie series can ever be made the way Back to the Future was. A trilogy shot all at once so the actors don't age and go on to different projects (Well, the last two films anyway). Airbender is just set up better for a trilogy, and I'm pretty sure M. Night in his infinite optimism wanted to shoot three movies. If the actors aged, then it would work with the story, unlike Dragonball where people live thousands of years and come back to life just because they finished training or whatever.

Chris did an excellent arguement for the forth point. I had never seen either the movie or the cartoon, but after hearing that it was analogous to Uncle Ben not dying in Spiderman, I was up in arms about the backstory screwing as well. Dan defending the origin story of anime ... if that doesn't deserve a point, I don't know what does.

Kyle next makes an observation that the Dragonball movie was not pretentious enough to not include an ending, and had I not been screwing with the points for the aforementioned joke, I would have given Kyle a point here. Shame on you Shyamalan, you've never made a sequel before, why would you assume people want to see your work more than once?

Chris got the final point for his anguish at a terrible kamehameha, and I don't care if that's spelled wrong. I have been working with Chris for quite some time now, and I have heard him yell that many times. I gather it is important, somehow central to the cartoon. For the live-action movie to screw it up is really upsetting to Chris, and I have to give him a point for taking it like a champ.

Seriously, he yells that a lot.

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