No Right Explanation

No Right Explanation
The Pusher Wins in Minecraft Vs. Pokemon

Firefilm | 9 Jul 2012 16:00
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Last week the guys debated which game is the biggest timesink and this week they continue that debate in print for your pleasure.

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Chris: I am ever so pleased this week! I'm always looking for some way to talk about Pokémon but usually I have to sit in a corner and use Splash Attack as neither Dan nor Kyle know much about Pokémon or particularly care to know much about Pokémon. I at last had the opportunity to bring up the magnificent franchise way back in our Best Anime Ever episode that Dan trolled everyone with, myself included (you may remember it better as Pokémon vs Digimon). Well I was able to force it into a debate that included timesinks as it really is one of the largest recipients of my time or yours!

But it's not all about Pokémon and my love of catching 'em all. Rather, I have to look at the bigger picture, that I beat Kyle in a meaningless debate on the Internet. Ah, that indeed feels good, especially after losing to him last week in Best Cutscenes Ever. Of course, both of us probably could have fought harder, and indeed there were a few minutes cut here and there to fit the video for time, as usual. So what could Kyle have said to help his case?

Well, to his credit, he never took the low road and swept the legs, by which I mean brought in the whole age debate regarding Pokémon. "That's for little kids!" Nope, he didn't say it once in the video, or even in the cut footage, and I applaud him for that. Granted, it would only have enraged me to the point of using Skull Bash, but there's still something to be respected for not even trying to say such horrible things that can never be taken back. Because Pokémon isn't a kiddie game for kids. It's simple on the outside and downright masochistic at the core, as commenters were quick to point out, what with IVs and EVs and chain breeding and ugh, I can't even go there, but it's intense as a Gyarados' left tailfin.

Another point that appeared in the comment section as if I were walking through tall grass was the notion that because Minecraft can so easily be modded, it is superior as a timesink. Kyle may have had a great angle there had he played that 1st edition holographic card, but he did not. I would have instantly spun upon him with Mirror Coat and reflected his Special Attack back in his face by arguing about the fact that any game can be modded, then point him in the direction of Pokémon Black (you know the Creepypasta). I'd even pull up Missing No. as that's an end-all beat-all conclusion to hardcore players cracking the game open and Fire Blasting the ever loving Shinx out of its rules to make the game do as they say. Sure, Minecraft makes modding easier, but again, no game is impervious to a good mod if the willingness is there and the nature is Bold.

My last point had Kyle in a pretty tight corner as it was the final argument and therefore could not be refused, no matter how hard he used Struggle. I opened things up into the realm of phenomenon by pointing out that Pokémon transcends just the games themselves and permeates every facet of media, meaning you cannot escape its clutches. The show, the cards, the movies, the endless supplies of merchandise, all of these are unavoidable, serving as a constant reminder that you belong to Pokémon, mind, body, and soul. Minecraft has a good bit of merch and its own convention, but Kyle was unable to say anything since I went second and spoke last, though I'm still sure it wouldn't have mattered since my arguments have a 10% chance to cause flinching and Kyle's arguments are like trying to use Hyper Beams against Ghost-types: They have no effect.

However, my debating skills are akin to using Thunder during a rainstorm since my chance of hitting is 100%. He couldn't withstand my barrage and soon whited out, dropping $200 in the process. But hey Kyle, it could be worse. At least you weren't in the Nuzlocke Challenge.

...This time.

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