No Right Explanation

No Right Explanation
Iron Man's Stocks Are Amazing

Firefilm | 16 Jul 2012 16:00
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Last week the guys debated whether Stark Interprises or LexCorp is the best comic book corporation, and this week they continue that debate in print for your reading enjoyment.

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Chris: Oh man, I am ever so wiped out. This has been one heck of a long week, and by week I mean three weeks. As you all may have gathered from stuff I've said over at Media Sandwich and what Dan has alluded to both mildly and blatantly, I now have a job working for Nintendo of America. Shhh! Don't say it too loudly! I had to make a deal with my awesome bosses who are awesome in order to continue doing stuff for The Escapist, and the biggest compromise is that I can't talk about video games anymore.

But! Don't assume this means that I'm unable to participate in debates, and Dan and Kyle can still talk about video games until their faces turn blue and their eyebrows fall off. I'm driving down from Redmond, Washington to film with the pair in Portland, Oregon this very weekend, and when I say "film," I mean about two-month's worth of episodes. Piece of cake!

So then, it appears that they bailed me out for at least a week (hopefully more) as they took to the Internet waves and cranked out a hell of a debate regarding the best comic-based corporation ever. Despite Dan hilariously getting Lexcorp's name wrong, the two delivered an excellent meat-and-potatoes verbal tussle that resulted in a spit take, just as the good Lord intended it. What an upset!

Since Dan was going to win until Kyle cleverly tossed in a few emus for good measure, I don't feel too inclined to mention some things he forgot to mention about Lexcorp, such as the fact that it had the contracts to completely rebuild Gotham City after the events of No Man's Land (Go read those 5 volumes and enjoy the first 1 and a half). Instead, I'd just like to have Kyle explain to me how he seemed to let Stark Industries seem so ... uninspired.

Facts are, when you're looking at Stark Industries right around the events of Avengers Disassembled, things were looking pretty bad. But just like any good war, the Marvel Civil War brought Stark out of the red and put it back on top to an insane degree - as in total global domination level. I wanted Kyle to bring this up and point out how if Tony Stark hadn't made himself a skeevy dimwit (despite the Extremis powers), Stark Industries would have become sentient outside of comics and be ruling us right now.

Come to think of it, the thing that holds comic book corporations back the most is the fact that they're always run by one megalomaniacal nutter with a God complex and a bit too much time and money on their hands. Luthor spends the majority of his time trying to beat that gosh-darned Superman while Tony Stark spends his time trying to beat that gosh-darned Superman ... I mean all of the other super heroes.

A lot of commenters grappled in with the classic chestnut Wayne Enterprises, mostly because the rule is that Batman and anything related to Batman must therefore win by default every single time. Except I wouldn't really put Wayne Enterprises on the same level as Stark and Luthor's babies. Sure, Batman essentially took control of the world when he lost his damn mind and thought everyone was plottin' on him right around the time of Infinite Crisis, but that doesn't count for his company, which has gone through the usual ups and downs of any business without really hitting the levels that either Lexcorp or Stark Enterprises hit.

I suppose the only real corporation that has shown any strong dominance in comics is Marvel itself now that it's joined with Disney. It cannot be stopped! Gozillions of dollars can't be wrong!

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