No Right Explanation

No Right Explanation
Iron Man's Stocks Are Amazing

Firefilm | 16 Jul 2012 16:00
No Right Explanation - RSS 2.0

Kyle: To clarify, we chose to ignore the inclusion of Wayne Enterprises in this lark of an episode because it's so obviously the right company to own and the wrong company to invest in.

Would you want your stock investment going toward genius inventions for the military that just sit in a giant vault collecting dust ... and no profit? Would you like the public face of your company to be a (possibly) drunken buffoon playboy who offers nothing to the company?

Or would you rather just invest in a company where the majority of products and profit serve to keep a dangerous vigilante on the streets and the city in distress?

So, we went with the others. And I maintain that Stark Industries is the better company to invest in because they have so many different tech markets to play in. Stark has his hand in clean energy, armor, robotics, transportation, and some kind of 3D hologram operating system and user interface that blows the shit out of iOS.

Meanwhile, Luthor is interested in the land market, which is going nowhere fast. First off, there's a limit to the amount of land in the world that is useful. And all the good land is taken. So ... unless Luthor happens to be cousins with the Wong family from Futurama, he's screwed in that department. And even then they would give him the East hemisphere of Mars.

What do you do with that? Build a giant clockwork crystal castle to show your girlfriend? That's the wrong comic!

And since Luthor happens to be xenophobic, he's going to have a hard time in any international market. You think his antagonizing Superman is bad, wait until you see what he calls Japanese business executives. And what happens when other aliens come to Earth? Are they going to take kindly to some bald asshole telling them, "Go back where you came from"?

And lastly, when Luthor cons the US into making him president what happens to your investment? The brains of the company just became a public servant and your stock portfolio is now in the hands of his capable replacement ... Mr. John ... Whozit.

So congrats, you are now a stockholder for a crappier and more evil Halliburton.

Comments on