No Right Explanation

No Right Explanation
Hollywood Makes You Crazy

Firefilm | 27 Aug 2012 16:00
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Dan: Looks like Chris caught on to my tally of the different types of crazy and decided to fill in the margins with a few more. Sorry, those who wanted to memorize the list and work them into casual conversation, now you have a few more flash cards to make. That being said, I know the world is better off with a few more imaginative ways of calling Hollywood stars crazy.

You gotta love a spit-take episode. Many people said that it shouldn't have counted because everyone was already laughing before they got to the drinking, but I'll let you in on a little secret: We are always laughing. I generally cut a lot of it out just for time, but this is one fun show to film and there isn't an episode where we have to pause due to an uproar of giggles.

That being said, let's look at the points before the spray of aqua. Kyle snagged the first point with reminding us that even before the furniture playground incident, we all smelled something was off with ol' Cruise. He had all the makings of a male version of America's sweetheart, but I don't think he ever reached it. Action star, sure, but there was always something hidden from public view. I always assumed it was pure, weapons-grade vanilla personality that he didn't want anyone to know about. I was wrong.

Chris comes back with Mel displaying the opposite personality issue from Tom; a burning fire inside. It allowed him to star in much more intense roles that Tom and really become a bigger Hollywood powerhouse in his day. Unfortunately the downside was that particular fire hated Jews, as fires often do. I know that I'm flammable. So when Mel's intensity escaped through a directorial outing, people tried to pass it off as creative passion (pun intended.) Then he got drunk, and all bets were off. The fires that burn brightest burn hottest.

Chris then wrestled another point out of the system with the wonderful argument of Mel missing his point of no return. Tom is nuts, but it's mixed in with his religion so people go to great lengths to ignore it and focus on his work. Mel Gibson showed that his beliefs are baked into his work, and when people tried to ignore that, he got drunk and repetitively yelled horrible things at cops. He does know that they record what you yell at them, right? Had Mel just made Passion and then kept his racist, hateful feelings to himself, he would probably still be huge right now. Meanwhile Tom did Tropic Thunder and Mission Impossible 4 and now he seems almost back on track, if he would just stop trying to ruin Katie's career.

Kyle got a point for his story about Tom. I don't know what else to say, that's some crazy stuff. I gotta assume it's true; it just seems too odd not to be.

Chris brings up another meltdown by Mel, which at this point should just be referred to as "Meldowns" (Screw you, Microsoft Word, I made it a word and you will accept my spelling!). The things Mel yelled at the cops could be written off as him being racist and drunk, but I don't even think he was drunk when he yelled at his ex-girlfriend. Its possible Tom is yelling at Katie at this very moment about her not wanting to do whatever he wants her to do, but he keeps it on the down low. Mel got caught, and you get smacked a lot harder in America for yelling at a woman then you do by yelling at a cop.

Kyle tied it prior to the spit-take with the worst kind of crazy that Tom has, which is the crazy that wants to convert others. To infect everyone around him with the coo-coo-cachoo that is his own. Keep in mind, Brooke wasn't considering taking meds, she was already on them and benefiting from them. Tom comes in and tries to undo her mental health to conform to his insanity. That's the kind of crazy that gets you kicked out of restaurants, is all I'm saying.

I hope you all are getting ready to hug me and the boys at PAX next week. I'll be bringing my camera and we'll be asking questions all weekend long! See you then!

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