You stumble to your feet and head for the nearest building, yelling "Guards!" as you sprint. Your top speed isn't exactly of Olympic quality, and you don't make it far before the beast is upon you, tackling you from behind and launching your body into the air. As you sail toward a particularly jagged-looking rock a few meters ahead, you consider how nice it would have been to have finally reached the great destiny for which you've been yearning. Oh well, at least you died as an adventurer, not a beet miner. Your Uncle Mortimer would have been proud.


Mike Kayatta is a contributing news writer for The Escapist and the author of John Gone. Paul Goodman is a loyal editorial assistant at The Escapist. Together, they fight crime.

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