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McArthur Blankenship | 9 Sep 2009 21:00
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PS3 Wins Console War Four Years Ago

Sales from the launch of Sony's PS3 slim have been up nearly 1000% from their original PS3 sales launch. This made at least one skeptic ask, "what is 1000% of 6?"

"At this point, losing is not an option. That's why we're doing our best to keep up with top industry leaders. We're following Nintendo's minimalist approach by removing unnecessary features like backwards compatibility, high-definition support and the hard disk. Now all we need is a deluge of mini-game collections and a gimmicky controller," said a Sony spokesman.

Not to be outdone, Microsoft says it will step up production on its aural-dampener. The device is inserted directly into your ear canal before you log into Xbox Live, ensuring you have a pleasant, profanity-free experience. Some tech-savvy users have already pointed out that the device closely resembles a screwdriver.

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