Reliable Source

Reliable Source: An Australian Attorney General in Thailand

Marion Cox | 12 Dec 2009 14:00
Reliable Source - RSS 2.0
image

Well, for starters, you can choose a political adversary that doesn't have the right to take political action in your county. Republicans in the U.S. have been successfully using illegal aliens and foreigners in general to attract voters who are afraid that Mexicans are going to take their minimum wage jobs as hotel housekeeping staff and dishwashers. After all, scaring your constituents into voting for your party using their natural fear of blinking lights and strange buttons can only get you so far. As soon as Dad gets an iPhone for Christmas, he'll start thinking that this technology stuff is not so bad after all and before you know it, he'll have a level 20 iFarm.

You need a real boogeyman, an Osama or a Saddam. Might I suggest starting a war with New Zealand's oppressive hippie (some might say communist) regime? Did you know that John Key has been hiding weapons of mass destruction in pig farms and Rugby stadiums across that country? No? Well, now's the time to hire Scooter Libby and plan your own occupation.

Or not. Maybe I don't know everything there is to know about this issue. It's apparent that not all Aussie gamers are up-in-arms over your refusal to classify games Mr. Atkinson. I received a letter from one gamer who has had enough of the spotlight:

Look Mr. Cox,

I don't bloody care if I can't play Aliens vs. Predator or see nasty little chunks of blown off zombies bits in Left 4 Dead 2. I want everyone to shut the up about the Australian ratings system already. Yea, it sucks. But you know what sucks more? All the farkin' jokes at the expense of Australians, mate. Sure, it's nice to have the bloody support of gamers around the farkin' world, but If I have to listen to another bodgey joke about Fosters lager or shrimps on me barbie, I am going to take a sickie put on me trackies and bludgeon a yank.

G'day mate,

-Darwin Boomerang McStereotype

Maybe Mr. Boomerang is right? It's obvious that I am not really the right person to be lecturing an Australian on Australian politics. As a friend I worry that if you continue down this path, you'll burn out again. Only this time it won't be spending your last week in a Thai prison accused of indecent acts with a pachyderm, it'll be gamers who are bored with playing kiddie games getting off their butts and start voting for the other party.

Sincerely,

Mr. (not Mrs.) Marion Cox

As far as he knows, Mr. Marion Cox has never fellated a pachyderm.

(Image)

RELATED CONTENT
Comments on