Shamus Plays

Shamus Plays: LOTRO, Part 1

Shamus Young | 20 Jan 2010 21:00
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And the game launches. If any of you veteran players don't like me slumming about your legendarium paradise with the name Lulzy then feel free to delete your level sixty "Rosie" to free up the name for me. Then maybe we can talk.

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Her likes:

1) Food
2) Meals
3) Snacks
4) Victuals
5) Shoes (Actually, clothing in general. But especially shoes.)

Her dislikes:

1) Fighting
2) Battle
3) War
4) Combat
5) Armed conflict
6) Violence
7) Fetching things for people

Great! As long as she can avoid those things, she's sure to have a super-fun time in Middle Earth. Let's get started.

Like all truly great and epic legends of heroism, this one begins...

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...in the post office.

According to my Quest Log, Celandine Brandybuck has sent me a distressing letter warning of troubles beyond the shire.

I have a letter here. I wrote her back. I told the daft bint to keep her gob shut about it since I don't give a sod about what's going on in foreign parts. I've got my lute, I've got my supper, I've got a pint, and Bad News about the Tall People doesn't concern me in the slightest.

Now I just need to get this thing mailed so I can get back to minding my own business. Maybe have a bite before bed.

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Tending the office is Postman Took. Beside him is his trustworthy assistant "Townsperson". Also here are my dear friends "Townsperson", her husband "Townsperson" and their nephew-neighbor "Townsperson".

You know, good folks.

Postman Took gives me the bad news:

Here is a screenshot of the quest text. Note that when I do this I don't expect you to actually read it. I just put it there when I want to make it clear that I'm talking about a real, actual thing in the game and that I'm not just taking screenshots and making stuff up. In general, I stay true to the plot of the game and the only stuff I make up is what my character says and thinks.

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The postman tells me he can't deliver the letter. Ruffians are vexing the town of Archet, and so he's afraid to send any delivery-hobbits in that direction. Sensing my annoyance, Postman Took helpfully suggests I could go there myself.

It's actually kind of an outrageous suggestion, but I humor him anyway. I mean, I could do it. I could just roll right out of here and deliver the letter myself. It occurs to me that the swiftest way to shame these cowardly postman would be if they were bested by the town minstrel. And I'd get to see Celandine's face when she read my letter.

It's settled then. I'm off to Archet. The only thing I don't understand is...

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...why in the name of Sauron's fancy jewelry am I making this trip at night?

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