Shamus Plays

Shamus Plays: LOTRO, Part 3

Shamus Young | 3 Feb 2010 21:00
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That done, I head inside the lodge to talk to Jon. Jon is in the dining room by the fire. The place smells of beer and roasted meat. I wait for him to finish chewing and introduce myself.

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"Greetings, Hobbit," he says, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, "I'm glad you're here. If Archet is to survive the attack, then we must have time to prepare our defenses."

You want more time? I'm not sure that's possible. I mean, they're going to attack at nightfall. Short of slowing down the rotation of the earth, I don't think there's all that much to be done about it.

Jon nods appreciatively before draining his mug, "I was thinking you could go and kill six of them."

"Oh were you? That's your plan then? You're going to aid the defense of the city by having a lone minstrel assault their base directly? If I can kill six of them by myself, think of how many you could kill if you sent actual soldiers. I mean, you don't look particularly busy here."

Jon looks around the room, taking an account of his men. "I can't spare any of these men. We're already on... guard duty."

"You're guarding from inside a building?"

"Nate is guarding the beer-barrel here. The hunters are assigned to guarding the fire from going out. And Fenton and I are guarding the roast mutton, the bread, the Shire stew, and the candied yams."

"You're guarding food?"

"Yes. We're protecting them from... being leftovers."

"Right. So you want me to murder people for you. I'm a musician, not an assassin. Now, if you want me to write a song about you stuffing your faces, I'm your girl. But if you need people made dead, why don't you hire an expert?"

"I'll give you this grand wide-brimmed hat."

"I... I've always wanted a wide-brimmed hat."

"It's plumed."

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On one hand, I feel a little guilty killing people for a hat. Even evil people who are working with the Nazgul. On the other hand, this murder business is getting easier as it goes.

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/spit

I add a few brigands to the dead list, and Jon gives me my reward. I'm so happy I hop up on the table and sing them a song:

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Jon and his lodge-mates were stuffing their faces.
While outside came brigands from all over the places.

They had boar and some stew and then several roast muttons.
Proving to all that they have the most gluttons.

They had beer, they had song, they food, they had slacking.
I agree with the brigands: Archet's due for a sacking!

Next time: People to meet, things to kill.

Shamus Young is the guy behind Reset Button, Twenty Sided, DM of the Rings, and Stolen Pixels.

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