Shamus Plays

Shamus Plays: Champions Online, Part 3

Shamus Young | 28 Jul 2010 13:00
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The Doctor seems to have the invasion all figured out. He explains to me some science stuff about signals and beacons and somesuch. I try to explain that bunk science isn't part of my character archetype, but it's no good. Eventually he boils it down for me: There are beacons in Champions HQ that have been hijacked to call the alien invaders, and they need to be turned off. (And at this point I'm really, really hoping "turned off" is a euphemism for "broken into tiny pieces with fists.") I guess bad guys have broken into Champions HQ and hijacked the beacons. Dr. Banana gives me the key to HQ and sends me there to set things right.

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I scratch my head, "Er. Key? But, if it's been broken into, then shouldn't the place be open already?"

Silverback mulls it over, "Well... maybe they... locked the doors behind them after they went in?"

"But they broke in! Doesn't that imply they would have broken the locks?"

"Look, just use the key to get in."

"Hang on a second. You're a hologram. How did you just give me a key?"

"Stop arguing and get going!"

"Okay," I say uncertainly. "But I can't shake this feeling like someone didn't think this through."

I need to meet up with Defender. Defender is the big cheese here in superhero land. He's the Superman of this world. The Dr. Manhattan. The Captain Marvel. The Papa Smurf. I head on into Champions HQ.

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Wow. Please tell me the taxpayers paid for this.

Inside, robots are fighting with bugmen. I always hate three-sided battles like this. Do I wait for them to finish and then fight the winner? Do I cut in? What's the proper brawling etiquette here?

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I stand a few feet away and sort of clear my throat, "Excuse me? I don't want to be rude, but... which one of you should I be punching in the face, here?" When they don't answer I wade in and start swinging. Hopefully this isn't some sort of fisticuffs faux pas.

I work my way in and eventually find Defender fighting both sides. Whew. Looks like jumping in is the correct thing to do. We mop up and then I take a look around the room...

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Left to right: Ironclad, Defender, Sapphire, Witchcraft, and (sigh) Kinetik. So THAT'S what he looks like outside of a cage!

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