Shamus Plays

Shamus Plays: Champions Online, Part 8

Shamus Young | 8 Sep 2010 18:00
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As I approach, a message appears:

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Klaus is actually Redstone!

Oh no! It's...

Er. Who?

I mean, seriously. What? Who the hell is Redstone and why do I care?

This is like earlier in the game when the brain told me he was the cloned brain I was looking for. Are the writers just confused? Are they leaving things out? Are we missing a mission in here someplace? The game acts like this is a huge reveal, and despite reading the quests, I've never seen the name "Redstone" before now.

It's also possible that the designers mistakenly assume I own, play, or give a crap about the Pen and Paper version of this setting.

"There is no need for this disguise any longer!" he tells me.

Actually, I don't really see the point of the disguise to begin with. I mean, I came in and you took it off. What were you trying to accomplish with that? Are you just really proud of the costume? What was it like, coming in to work every day disguised as an evil scientist when you're really an evil ninja... thing?

I can imagine what the conversations must have been like around here:

HENCH THE HENCHMAN: Redstone! I have a report that-

REDSTONE: What? Who? I am Dr. Klaus.

HENCH: I... Look sir, do we have to do this right now? I mean, there aren't even any superheroes around.

REDSTONE: CALL ME DR. KLAUS!

HENCH: (sighing.) Right. Sorry. "Dr. Klaus." I have a report that a superhero is on his way. So, you might want to, you know, do your thing and kill him.

REDSTONE: How could a lowly scientist like myself ever hope to face a superhero?

HENCH: (Gives a halfhearted shrug.) You got me. I have no idea.

REDSTONE: You'd need a mighty supervillain to face a superhero!

HENCH: Okay. Fine. So... if you happen to bump into Redstone at some point...

REDSTONE: (nods approvingly.)

HENCH: ...you could give him the message?

REDSTONE: Yes! I will pass along your message to the mighty Redstone if I see him!

HENCH: Great. Do you have any... I mean... Did Redstone mention having any other orders for us the last time you spoke with him?

REDSTONE: Yes. Redstone demands you take the tank outside and use it to guard the front door!

HENCH: We can't. The only door in or out is the personnel door.

(Pause.)

HENCH: The tank can't fit.

REDSTONE: Curses!

Anyway, Redstone stops being disguised and we fight.

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I don't want to seem like a flatterer, Redstone, but I must say your head has fantastic acoustics. I could listen to the sound of me slamming my fist into the side of your idiotic skull all day long.

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What? You're laying down? Are you sleepy? Okay then. Why don't you go ahead and take a nap?

I return to Dr. Severisen and he lets me know that we (meaning me) are all done here. He suggests I head to Millennium City and speak with Defender.

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Whew. Finally! Yeah. Let's head for the city.

Next Time: The City of The Future!

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