Shamus Plays

Shamus Plays: Champions Online, Part 12

Shamus Young | 6 Oct 2010 13:00
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At first I'm a little worried he wants me to act as an accomplice while he goes on a suicide killing spree like the last cop I dealt with, but no, this one seems okay. He's complaining of having a headache, but otherwise his directions seem pretty reasonable. He wants me to save some pamphleteers from groups of thugs. Sounds good to me.

I'm sort of apprehensive about this job. It's like when the movie hero says, "I have a bad feeling about this. It's quiet ... too quiet." Well, this job is sane ... too sane. "Save civilians from gangsters" is a perfectly good task for a superhero, and so I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall.

I fly over to the trouble site - which is delightfully nearby - and find civilians being harassed by gangsters, just like he said.

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Hey bully! Why don't you pick on someone your own size but who is also way, way stronger and bulletproof and can make force-fields and can fly? Huh? Huh!?! Chicken!!!

I return to Corporal Harrison and let him know that everything NO I DO NOT WANT TO CHECK OUT A BUNCH OF GUYS SNEAKING INTO A WAREHOUSE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CITY SO PISS OFF worked out okay and those pamphleteers are safe now. Next up, he wants me to go after the leader of the Purple Gang, Kevin Poe.

"Wow. Really? You're gonna send me right to the head honcho, and not make me work my way through his entire org chart before I can face the man himself? Corporal Harrison, I don't think I've ever gotten to say this to an officer before without lying, but ... you really are doing a good job."

Well, okay. This isn't perfect. Poe's inner sanctum is in the sprawling, well-lit sewer complex beneath the city, but I'm willing to overlook both the cliché and the smell for a shot at doing a mission that doesn't put me up against someone slightly more absurd and eccentric than Willy Wonka.

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This must be the place. I'll just open this lid, climb down ...

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...and emerge from a massive steel door. What?

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Let's see ... Pipes? Check? Nondescript machinery? Check. Labyrinthine tunnels with requisite river of spinach smoothie? Check. Waves of idle henchmen? Check. Inexplicable presence of built-in sewer lighting to illuminate the river of ick? Check. Pointless barrels? Check.

I don't know much about Kevin Poe, but I have to admire his lavish attention to detail. When he embraces a trope he does so with style. I am really looking forward to punching his face in.

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