Shamus Plays

Shamus Plays: Champions Online, Part 13

Shamus Young | 13 Oct 2010 13:00
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I'm sulking. The only sane person on our side (the good guys) is actually being mind-controlled by one of the bad guys. What am I supposed to do? Leave him like that, thus letting the bad guys win? Or free him, so that he can go back to being as loony as everyone else?

As I fly around, pondering this difficult question, I encounter ...

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... an old woman. She's lost her kitty, and asks me to help find the little guy. Aw.

I've actually mentioned this quest before.

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So ... you lost your cat. Okay. I've got a couple of minutes. Let's find him. Should I just look around this area or ... ?

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Oh? You're walking? Look, there's no need for that. I can move faster without you. If you just stop.

Stop here.

Or here is good too. Pretty much anywhere.

If you'll just stop walking I can go find your cat ...

Oh. I see. This is an escort mission. Doesn't make any sense that you should need to escort a woman who just asked you to find her cat, but years ago someone told MMO developers that players LOVE escorting moronic / suicidal NPC's and now nobody can tell them different. And no escort mission would be complete without ...

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Oh. Dudes. See? This is why you should have let me-

Ah! They're beating on the old woman?!? Why are they doing this? They really give her a pounding, too. I had no idea these guys had it in for old ladies so bad.

I apply firm, even impacts to make sure we get a nice, even coating of pain and death. I hate spotty work. The troublemakers thus dispatched, I turn back to my charge.

Okay lady, this whole thing is really strange and I wouldn't blame you at all for wanting to wait by the road while I look arou-

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No? You're just that hardcore? Fine. But don't come crying to me when we get ...

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