Shamus Plays

Shamus Plays
Shamus Plays WoW #1: It's An Imp's Life

Shamus Young | 27 Oct 2010 13:00
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"Are you telling me I'm only two feet tall?"

"Is that unexpected for you?"

"Look human, I'm tens of thousands of years old. I'm so big that, in my proper form, I could probably swallow you without noticing. Like, I wouldn't even taste you before you slid on down to the fire."

"Uh, well ..." he stammers. "I'm not sure what went wrong. I mean, I summoned you according to procedures and ..."

"No, you didn't summon me. You summoned part of me. A tiny sliver. This would be like if someone tried to summon you, and all they got was your nose. And one eyebrow."

"Sorry."

"Don't sweat it. You probably just botched the incantation. Just release me and summon another one. And put your back into it this time."

"You don't understand. This is as much of you as I could pull through."

"You're kidding."

"I nearly passed out as it is!"

"What are you, new at this?"

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"Actually, yes. You're my first summon," he says proudly. "Apprentice Warlock Deathbringer-er, at your service." He gives a slight bow.

"I'm pretty sure the service thing goes the other way, but fine. Let's just do whatever it is you called me to do."

He looks excited, "You mean you'll really help me?"

"Not like I have a choice, remember?"

"Super! I can't believe this is working!"

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I take a look around the place. "So what's the plan, Boss? Plague? Rain of fire? Genocide? I see a church over there. Maybe we start by getting rid of that?"

"Gosh no!" he cries. "These people are on our side!"

"You just summoned a demon. Which means you're a warlock. Which means there's nobody on your side. That goes double for people in churches."

"Except you. You're on my side." He says this like we're buddies now or something.

"I don't think so Goldilocks."

"But ..." he protests. "I summoned you. They said you have to serve me! You even said so yourself a minute ago!"

"True, true. I have to do what you say, but if you fell into a vat of Kodo urine and drowned right now it would be a huge time-saver for me. So I'm not exactly cheering for you."

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