Shamus Plays

Shamus Plays
Shamus Plays WoW #6: Overwhelmed by Kobolds

Shamus Young | 1 Dec 2010 13:00
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I charge in and heave some fireballs at the locals. Norman does his shadow magic stuff. It turns out that there are a lot more kobolds here than at the other mine, and these guys are a lot more ornery. Things go from bad to worse when I end up fighting three of them at once. Pretty soon I feel my demonic body coming apart. As I fall, I look backwards and see what Norman has been doing ...

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Of course, being immortal means I don't die. I just return to the demonic planes. Which is something of a relief. I'm no longer two feet tall and feeble. I have just enough time to take care of a bit of business before I end up being summoned again.

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"Behold demon, you now serve the mighty Dethbringerr!" Norman bellows as I snap back to the mortal realm.

"Lucky me," I say. "It's Dethbringerr, the master of running off and leaving his companion to die. Long time no see."

Norman tilts his head to one side, "Gobstab? Is that you?"

"You were expecting Archimonde?"

He looks confused, "Well, I ... My warlock teacher told me you never summon the same demon twice. I mean, there's like billions of demons so ..."

"Yeah, funny thing, that," I shrug. "Probably a fluke. Best not to think too much about it. Let's get back to work."

It's quite a long walk back to the mines.

"Man, when you run away you don't mess around," I observe.

"Yeah. Those kobolds chased me for a long ways. They were mean little buggers."

"Oh I'm sure I wouldn't know anything about that."

"Yeah," Norman says guiltily, "I'm sorry about leaving you like that. When you died I thought I'd never see you again."

"First of all, I didn't 'die'. I just lost my connection to the mortal realm. Which is not a bad thing. Second, don't apologize to one of your own servants. It sickens me."

"Sorry."

"Stop that!"

"Right, right. No apologizing. Got it."

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Back at the mines, Norman once again sends me into the fray while he hangs back. We make it further this time, but eventually we attract too many kobolds and Norman runs off and I get a free trip back home. Sure enough, a few minutes later...

"Behold demon, you now serve-"

"Oh look. It's the running man. Thanks a lot for that one," I say.

"Gobstab? Again? This is uncanny. No. This is absurd. Impossible. This isn't just random chance."

"Yeah. Quite a mystery. Like I said, best not to think about it. Let's get going."

"No, as you master, I order you to tell me why you're the only demon I can summon."

"Nice try, but you can't make me tell you about how the demonic realms work."

"I can't?" he says, suddenly uneasy.

"It's not part of the deal. So suck it up. All you need to know is that we're stuck with each other for the time being."

Norman is really shaken by this. He's suddenly aware that there are limits on how much power he has over me. He's probably wondering what other limits there are. Or what secrets I might be hiding, and why. For the first time in his life he might be questioning the wisdom of striking deals with demons who are older, smarter, and more powerful than himself. But like all humans the feeling soon passes and he goes back to thinking he knows what he's doing.

Gotta love humans.

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