Shamus Plays

Shamus Plays
Shamus Plays WoW #13: Crime and Punishment

Shamus Young | 19 Jan 2011 13:00
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"I just wish that somewhere we'd find a place that isn't run by an idiot."

"If you want something like that, you need to do two things. First, put yourself in charge. Second, stop being an idiot."

The farmhouse is a mess. Vagrants are all over the place. Poor, hungry people are huddled inside.

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Norman greets Two-Shoed Lou, who proceeds to yammer on about murder and living in boxes and some crap about a conspiracy.

Suddenly Norman turns to me, "Hang on! Look at all these poor people. These are exactly the people I came here to help!"

"You came to help Lou?" I ask.

"No, I mean all these other people," he shouts. "This has been my problem all along. I've been working morons instead of going to the people who need help. Look at his place. It's filled with poor homeless orphans! I lost sight of my goal when I started taking these quests, and got caught up doing all of this stupid stuff, when all I needed to do was find someone hungry and offer help."

"Fine. Go ahead. Try to help them and see how far you get."

"I will!" Norman says, as he storms into the dilapidated farmhouse. He meets the woman in charge of the place, Mama Celeste. She is only to happy to accept his offer for help.

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"Life in Westfall's hard, sonny! Every day is a struggle. We can sometimes go weeks without a decent meal. That's why it's important that we all help each other out. Maybe you can lend a hand, eh? I'm making dirt piles and need some ingredients. Get me some fresh dirt from the pumpkin patch out front and a bunch of coyote tails."

Norman looks out the door to the farmland outside ...

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He looks like he's going to be ill. "So your saying you want me to out outside, into the fields ... "

"Yes," she says happily.

"Where there are ripe pumpkins ..."

"Yes."

"And gather heaps of dirt for you ..."

"Oh yes!"

"To eat?"

"Oh, you are a smart one!" she coos.

Norman stops for another look out the door ...

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"And then..." he says, "You want me to go out into the field..."

"Correct."

"And find several coyotes ..."

"I hope so."

"And kill them, and cut off their tails ..."

"If you can!"

"And you want me to bring you those tails, so you can EAT THEM?"

"MMMmmmmm!"

"And you want me to leave the rest of the carcass to rot in the field instead of bringing it back here?"

"What would I do with a coyote carcass?" she asks in confusion.

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