The Writers' Room

The Writers' Room
Better Homes and Nerd Dens

Elizabeth Grunewald | 7 Dec 2010 19:01
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Yesterday, Greg Tito gave us the story of Mark, the man who built whoosh-y sliding Star Trek door in his home. Watching the video inspired me to undertake some serious renovations to my own domicile. May I give you the grand tour?

You'll notice that, from the outside, it doesn't look like much. Thanks to some time lord science, I was able to make it much bigger on the inside, while still keeping the home's physical footprint quite small. This results in lower property taken, and the ability to live almost anywhere, as physical property space does not pose any real restriction.

(If you're just looking to brush up on your time lord science, you'll find it at 0:30.)

Looking inside, you'll notice the library on your right.

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Books line the walls in floor-to-ceiling shelves, and the room has the requisite fireplace and leather armchairs. It smells faintly of pipe smoke and, of course, rich mahogany. These are all standard requirements for any such dedicated library, but the real innovation is sitting just on that shelf in front of you. You see, while this room is enormous, and stuffed full of books, complete with sliding ladders to reach them, sometimes you just need to find a book right away. This shelf contains a dozen books lifted, at great risk, from the offices of Wolfram and Hart. They're source books, linked to every other book in our library. I've reworked them to correspond to the Dewey Decimal system, but otherwise they work just as they did at that infamous law firm. The books appear to be blank, but tell the book what you'd like to read, and the pages fill with your desired text. These source books appeared in last season of Angel, where they were used to locate prophecies and the like. In my home, they're most frequently used to look up quotations and win bets. The actual books are here for casual reading, but I cannot tell you what an invaluable resource these source books have turned out to be.

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You may recognize the bay window here, just in the front of the library, looking out onto the street. It's modeled after the window at 742 Evergreen Terrace, right down to the cushioned window seat. It's a lovely nook, and with its buttery yellow curtains and bright fuchsia woodwork, the most colorful part of my redesigned home. The seat is ideal for huddling in the throes of anxiety after your nanny leaves, as evidenced in "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(annoyed grunt)cious," or for lying in wait to catch your would-be killer, as it was used in "The Great Louse Detective."

My personal use would be to burrow in and hide when your dinner party guests get all divorce-y, or to curl up with the newest Radioactive Man. Continuing through the rest of the library, just a few feet from the window is the sofa. This handsome piece is upholstered in a sumptuous burgundy leather with a well-established ass groove. Facing the sofa is some of the home's most recognizable art, Scene From Moby Dick.

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