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A PROPER VILLAIN

Scales is still telling off the mayor, and Fleming joins the conversation. Here it comes! Scales is going to out Fleming as Chess! He does. The Cape looks on hopefully. Everyone laughs. The plan is a disaster.

An ARK guard comes to escort Scales off the train, but he knocks the guard out and takes his gun. He's decided he's going to heist the train, too -- all the cool kids are doing it -- when the lights go out. Scales and Fleming step outside the train car to see what all the fuss is about, and The Cape is there. He and Scales engage in a poorly choreographed and badly green-screened top o' the train fight, and Scales knocks off our hero. He returns to Fleming, and the two wave their guns around and banter with threats so lame they don't bear repeating. Suffice to say, at the end of the standoff, Scales proclaims, "Let the war begin" as his henchman, Noodle, detaches the train cars. Who names these characters?

WAR

The Cape returns from, "been hanging by [his] fingertips off the side of a train" to some worse news from Orwell to take his mind off it: We're all on a runaway train! She gives reasons, like "the braking system failed, and the caboose decoupled," but it's luckily fixable. Someone just needs to cut the brake hose on the bottom of the running train. No biggie. The Cape reenters the train and announces the runaway aspect of the party. He asks for Fleming's help in front of a room of witnesses, and Fleming is forced to lower his gun and cooperate.

On the detached bit of train, Scales stumbled onto the Carnival's thieving operation and tries to thieve from the thieves. In busts Grim Reaper Max with a big ol' gun and a big ol' grudge: Scales nearly killed him the last time they met, remember? The Carnival puts Scales in the train's built in cage, and now Scales is flashing back. He's been locked in a cage before, beaten, mocked, and denied cake. The Carnival makes off with their loot; Scales begins methodically banging his head against the bars of his prison.

Back to the runaway half of the train, it's up to The Cape and Peter Fleming to save the day. Fleming's a mechanical engineer, so it makes sense to have him be the one to physically get under the moving vehicle and cut the brake line. The Cape is there to make sure he doesn't fall. Once Fleming's in place, though, the temptation becomes excruciating. This is the man who ruined his life, and all The Cape has to do is let go...

NO JOURNEY TOO FAR...

If he kills Fleming, though, his name will never be cleared, and he'll never be able to return to his family. He's clearly tormented by his warring desires here, which would be interesting if it weren't so predictable. Fleming cuts the brakes, The Cape lets him live. Yawn. Fleming is slightly jazzed about their teamwork, laughing congratulating The Cape on his growing aptitude at this game between the two of them. The Cape is enraged, hissing, "This is not a game -- I'm gonna end you. You're not as smart as you think you are." Fleming grins to himself, muttering, "God, I wish you were right," which is odd. Wouldn't you rather be just as smart as you thought you were, if not more?

Scales has head-butted his cage wide open, and finds an ARK security guard just waking up in the train car with him. It's Joe ARK, from the first scene! As promised, Scales remembers him. Then probably beats the tar out of him, but we've cut to the Faraday home now, so we'll never know for sure. Dana is finally home -- how far away was she stuck in traffic? This is ridiculous -- bearing a gift and a very melty cake.

Vince goes to Max's trailer to confront his mentor, as the man counts a stack of ill-gotten money. Vince barrels in, saying "What I believe in, and what you believe in... sooner or later, it's going to put it on opposite sides of a loaded gun." Hey, obvious foreshadowing!

Vince retreats to the Cape Cave to join Orwell for a beer. He's bummed that his grand Scales Outing Fleming As Chess plan backfired, but Orwell looks on the bright side: "The secretary of prisons wants to be your Tonto and you saved hundreds of lives." She then continues on a more thoughtful note: "Everything we just went through and you're wrapping a birthday gift for your son. Why do parents love their kids like that?" "They just do. Why, doesn't your dad Peter Fleming AKA Chess love you any longer?" Evidently not, as Orwell's next question is "Do you think anything ever makes that go away?"

Trip hops out of bed the next morning, which is a relief -- I would have been disappointed if this episode didn't follow the "always end with Trip on or near the fire escape" formula. He opens his gift, a compass, and reads the card aloud to himself: "No journey too far. Your friend. The Cape."

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