Fiction Issue #3

Fiction Issue #3
Speech of teh Realm

Richard Hehemann | 23 Dec 2008 12:59
Fiction Issue #3 - RSS 2.0

Just like a Rovnian, thought Torgil. His eyes roamed back to the wizard and the Staff of Nine Fires. To see such power in the hands of a lout saddened his heart. Perhaps he would compose a song about the perils of misplaced might and sing it in the Rellian town square that evening. A good performance would be sure to fetch coin from the crowd, and of late his purse was flat. Torgil removed his lute from its case and strummed the strings. "Listen, children, to a story," he sang in his rich baritone.

"Dude, WTF are you doing?" asked the wizard.

Again with the barbarisms, Torgil sighed. "I am a bard, good wizard. It is my vocation to make the heavy heart light and the broken spirit soar through the magic of song." He patted the belly of the lute gently. "Here lies power that will endure for eternity, unlike even the artifact you bear."

"Like hell," said the wizard. "This thing gives me 85 magical strike points. It's totally best in slot for my spec."

"But it creates neither grace nor beauty. And thus I sing."

"Yeah right," said the priest of Hoath. "You only rolled bard so you could dual-wield longswords and get charm spells. That is way overpowered."

"They really kind of are," said the knight. "A dumb bard wanted to roll against me for this sword." He held glowing Sordamal in the air. "This is clearly a knight weapon."

Not the knight too, thought Torgil. The situation was dire, and becoming more so. It was time for the bard to call on a higher power. "My friends, you will soon force my hand. If you do not desist in this loutish mode of outlander speech, I shall be forced to call upon Those Who Watch Above in Silence." A hushed calm fell over the tavern. Torgil gazed from one face to the next, ensuring that they understood the gravity of his words.

"Dude," said the wizard, "is he going to, like, report us?"

"Yeah," said the knight, laying Sordamal on the table and clearly sweating. "They can suspend your account, or even take your loot away."


The wizard hugged the staff to his thin body and cleared his throat. "Yea, verilies, we have doth intrudedeth upon this, um, peaceful, fantastic, thing ... place."

The knight retrieved his battle blade and ushered the wizard to the tavern door. "Verily indeed. We shall make haste from this domain ere the night is old. Farewell, good bard." As they left the tavern, Torgil could hear the knight say, "Sorry Tyler, I thought this would be fun. Let's try a combat server."

Torgil looked around the room. No one else said a word. Satisfied, Torgil called out, "Barkeep! What need a thirsty man do to get a mug of mead in this tavern?"

Richard Hehemann is a science fiction/fantasy author and unrepentant PvE healer.

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