Geek, Dork, Nerd

Geek, Dork, Nerd
Confessions of a GameStop Employee - Part Two

Scott Jones | 5 Oct 2010 12:34
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"Ben" continues to work for the videogame giant GameStop. The following is part two of his account.

(Missed part one? Read it here.)

Getting "Used" to My New Position

My second day on the job, Chris tasked me with organizing our stock of used games. My first impression of the used games: nearly all of them were in just awful condition. My second impression: for some inexplicable reason, 99.999999 percent of our stock of used games no longer had their instruction manuals.

Let's take a moment for a brief digression here.

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What exactly are people doing with these missing game manuals? What happens to them? Where do they go? Why is it so fucking hard for people to hang onto them? Like elephants, is there some kind of mysterious game manual graveyard, a place that none of us knows about, where they all go to die? And is the game manual graveyard the same place where the missing dryer socks go?

And on the rare occasion that a used game actually did still have a manual - glory be - the booklet almost always would appear to have been gummed by an rabid pack of toothless St. Bernard's for several hours before being fed into an underpowered wood chipper. Translation: the manual was in terrible shape. Game boxes were in rotten shape, too. Boxes were almost always cracked or crushed or discolored from being left in the sun. Another digression: WHO THE FUCK LEAVES THEIR FUCKING GAMES IN THE FUCKING SUN?

Answer: apparently, a lot of people do.

Finally, let's discuss the game discs themselves. These magical, silvery, shiny, delicate objects that contain so much precious data? Millions of lines of code that hundreds of people labored to write, all in the name of creating magical fantasy worlds for you to explore and escape into and get high scores and save the princess in? More often than not, these objects, which are so very precious to me personally, had scratches on them that were as wide and majestic as the Hudson River itself.

Universal truth: People do not take care of their games. At all. Ever.

Which I do not fucking understand.

I eventually deduced why so many of the used games in our store were in especially rotten shape. If the Uptown GameStop had an overstock of, say, Grand Theft Auto IV, they would be asked to send X number of copies of GTA IV to the new store (our store).

What typically happens in this situation is this: If the Uptown Store is asked to ship five used copies of GTA IV to our store, they will, without fail, send us the five copies in their store that are in the absolute worst possible condition: no manuals, boxes that looked like they had spent several years being eroded by the surf at Coney Island, discs that Freddy Krueger had used to write correspondence on.

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