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Meet the Team for Issue 54

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Joe
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 1124
Joined: 7 Jul 2006

Meet the Team for Issue 54

Each week we ask a question of our staff and featured writers to learn a little bit about them and gain some insight into where they are coming from.

This week's question is:

You've just assumed total control of the galaxy. What's your first act as Supreme Chancellor?

Bongo Bill
Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 614
Joined: 13 Jul 2006

Delegate. Appoint trustworthy aides to manage the day-to-day functioning of the galaxy in my stead. Gather a Galactic Think Tank to create a form of government that can't be corrupted from anywhere except the tip top of the pyramid, and then implement that so that I don't have to worry about things too much. Take an extended Space Vacation. Declare my birthday a galactic holiday: anybody who sends me a present gets a proportional tax write-off.

Virgil
IT Director
Posts: 1006
Joined: 13 Jun 2002

I would gather an elite force of rediculously garbed scuba-ninja assassins to be my personal guard, and take up residence in a missile silo volcano moonbase, from which I would rule with an iron fist. Then I'd begin work on a weather control device.

infernomatic
Paperboy
Posts: 22
Joined: 12 Jul 2006

I would use my newly acquired ultimate power to seize control of Perry's ice cream, forcing them to reassume the manufacturing and distribution of the flavor Zero Visibility. Then I would afford myself a lifetime supply as my reward for a job well done.

John Funk
Anonymous Source
Posts: 4
Joined: 11 Jul 2006

Depends. Am I a benevolent wise ruler to lead my people into a Golden Age? Or a tyrannic despot feeding on their despair and agony? If the second, well, the ol' Evil Overlord guidelines will never do ya wrong: http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html

But either way, I think I'd delegate responsibility to my Trusted Advisor while I went and decided to write a Great Galactic Novel.

Easykill
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1725
Joined: 13 Sep 2007

I am totally reviving this. It's too cool not to.

For me; let someone else do all the work while I reap the benefits, I think. Corruption at it's finest.
EDIT: And I would fund more crazy tests like these: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/7.61853

nilcypher
News Room Contributor
Posts: 1838
Joined: 21 Feb 2008

Wow, you really went digging for this one.

Easykill
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1725
Joined: 13 Sep 2007

nilcypher:
Wow, you really went digging for this one.

Not really, it was on the last page. Makes it easy.

Khell_Sennet
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3630
Joined: 25 Jan 2008

As supreme chancellor? I guess my first priority would be to execute anyone and everyone in the government who is still loyal to the former chancellor.

Or make pretzels.

the monopoly guy
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2733
Joined: 8 May 2008

pie! lots and lots of pie! pie for everyone! unless I don't like you then you get RUBARB pie!

or I would start my own intergalactic empire, attack the borderworld xen, then stumble upon earth only to wreak havok. about a decade after the invasion I will be foiled by a mute...not really...I wouldn't be foiled...I would befriend him with pie

Knight Templar
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1275
Joined: 29 Dec 2007

Make Elections that don't matter.

Turn all corporations into goverment contoled enterprises, without puplic knowlage.

In 5-10 years have a utopian military state, filled with robot's and magic powers.

NOTE: My lawyers advice me that I have never heard of "star wars".

tendo82
Section Editor
Posts: 317
Joined: 30 Nov 2007

Start a eugenics movement involving me and Natalie Portman.

Mnemophage
Beat Writer
Posts: 178
Joined: 13 Mar 2008

Drugs.

If people complain, then I legalize.

Fire Daemon
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2714
Joined: 18 Dec 2007

I will make thread necromancy legal. If it is already legal I would reward it.

Drong
Press Junketeer
Posts: 391
Joined: 31 Oct 2007

the monopoly guy:
pie! lots and lots of pie! pie for everyone! unless I don't like you then you get RUBARB pie!

I love Rubarb!

if i was supreme chancello of everything I wouldn't leave my harem except to eat rubarb pie as it would be my duty to make an army of little me's

Darth Mobius
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3903
Joined: 26 Feb 2008

Khell_Sennet:
As Supreme Chancellor? I guess my first priority would be to execute anyone and everyone in the government who is still loyal to the former chancellor.

...And a few others that I don't like... I follow the Rules for an Evil Overlord, so kill anyone who opposes me quickly and quietly...

...And Star Destroyers! Build lots of Star Destroyers!

stompy
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2990
Joined: 21 Jan 2008

Let the galaxy go to hell, and watch over with my harem. Of course, I will have an awesome palace, with a pool filled to the brim with mint chocolate, and then... the dancers... hehe, I think I'll like this life...

 
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