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Pick-up lines

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Xojins
Paperboy
Posts: 21
Joined: 7 Jan 2008

I've heard so many bad, corny pick-up lines it's quite sad actually. I want to know if I haven't heard any yet, so post all of the pick-up lines you can think of.

ShadeOfRed
Muckraker
Posts: 266
Joined: 20 Jan 2008

"Criticism completes me." It's not very good, but ten points to whoever can figure out what it's from!

m_jim
Muckraker
Posts: 236
Joined: 14 Jan 2008

I have the king of all bad pick-up lines:
Me: "How much does a polar bear weigh?"
Pretty Girl: "...how much?"
Me: "Enough to break the ice."

thedrop2zer0
Beat Writer
Posts: 153
Joined: 17 Dec 2007

I knew a guy who would walk up to random girls and ask them to marry him. Scary thing is, some of them said yes.

PurpleRain
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3895
Joined: 2 Dec 2007

I use this one all the time.

Me: "Think fast!"
Girl: "Wha..."
Punch to the face. Drag her back to my house.

Works everytime.

Xojins
Paperboy
Posts: 21
Joined: 7 Jan 2008

PurpleRain:
I use this one all the time.

Me: "Think fast!"
Girl: "Wha..."
Punch to the face. Drag her back to my house.

Works everytime.

I prefer an alternative:
"Hey does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

Khell_Sennet
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3045
Joined: 25 Jan 2008

The only one I know is a poem from FARK.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'll fuck you with a rake

Doesn't work too good.

Pie
Press Junketeer
Posts: 463
Joined: 10 Jan 2008

Khell_Sennet:

I'll fuck you with a rake

Well there's your problem.
I've never used a pickup line... EVER!
I'm just that smooth.

Duck Sandwich
Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 513
Joined: 13 Dec 2007

"Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm going to kill you
....oodley doo"

Formidable
Paperboy
Posts: 14
Joined: 3 Dec 2007

ShadeOfRed:
"Criticism completes me." It's not very good, but ten points to whoever can figure out what it's from!

Its from Dilbert, and i laughed till i cried when i read that comic!

As for a pick up line;
"Oops, sprry. I was going to try a pick up line on you but you look a little too smart for that!"

Works disturbingly well...

MikeyW
Copy Clerk
Posts: 64
Joined: 21 Feb 2008

Walk up to a girl, knock her drink to the floor.
Say, "Looks like you need a drink"
When she says she does say "Gimme six bucks then."

Never failed me yet.

Hey Joe
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1237
Joined: 23 Dec 2007

"Hi, how are OH MY GOD I'M BLEEDING FROM MY ANUS!"

and my personal favourite

"Hi, I've recently had the chance to face my own mortality. The conclusion I reached was that life is too short for being timid, so I've decided that I'll always talk to the most beautiful girl in the room. So, Hi, how are you doing tonight?"

GyroCaptain
Beat Writer
Posts: 160
Joined: 7 Jan 2008

I think XKCD had the best broken cliche pickup lines.
"If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put your sister and I together"
"You must be tired, 'cause you've been running through my mind all night. Screaming"
"Is your dad a thief? Cause that's totally my Jetta you parked out there."
"That shirt looks good on you but it'd look better stuffed burning into the neck of a vodka bottle and thrown through our office building's window"

Larenxis
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1765
Joined: 13 Dec 2007

On the internets I've read a fair share of funny ones. In real life they generally aren't that funny though. Ooh! Story time!

When I was younger I ordered a Kid's Meal at Subway and the guy serving me says "Nice hat, you know what would look better on you? Me." The other guy there gave him a talking to in the back room, but like a month later I saw him there again. He called me 'kiddo'.

Almost as memorable as that hobo who said he had daughters my age, then after taking a swig of something asked me to be his girlfriend. As lush as his beard was, I turned him down.

Knight Templar
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1159
Joined: 29 Dec 2007

"HAY WANA HAVE SEX"!

remember to duck

The Reverend
Muckraker
Posts: 229
Joined: 28 Jan 2008

There are just too many bad ones. Like..

Are you a parking ticket? Cos' you got "Fine" written all over you!
Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven baby!

I feel so dirty..

ChrisP.Lettuce
Beat Writer
Posts: 193
Joined: 3 Jan 2008

(I am dutch)

Hey, do you have any dutch in you?

No

Want some?

Hey Joe
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1237
Joined: 23 Dec 2007

"I'll give you $50 to touch me"

stompy
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2577
Joined: 21 Jan 2008

I suppose one really bad one I heard was "Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?". Ugh, so bad...

Fire Daemon
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2437
Joined: 18 Dec 2007

The only one that seems to work well for me Is "very nice how much".

Thaliur
Copy Clerk
Posts: 125
Joined: 3 Jan 2008

I never thought much about pick-up-lines, and if those many of you mentioned are really used somewhere, I'm about to lose all hope for mankind...

Well, in case anyone wants to know what worked for me:
"Hey, I think I got it! Try to..." (while watching her playing a quite difficult part of a PS2 game) :D

Chilango2
Muckraker
Posts: 281
Joined: 3 Oct 2007

Bad pick up lines? And no one has mentioned the old groaner "If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"

For shame.

tiredinnuendo
Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 970
Joined: 2 Jan 2008

Chilango2:
"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"

I am no longer infected.

Also, I had a buddy who would do his best impression of Rick Moranis and say, "I am Vinz Clotho, Keymaster of Gozer; Are you the Gatekeeper?" We figured it was a very time saving pick-up line. If she laughed, she was worth buying a drink for. If not, what was the point?

- J

OneHP
Beat Writer
Posts: 162
Joined: 31 Jan 2008

If I flipped a coin what's the chance of me getting head.

Crap_haT
Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 730
Joined: 9 Jan 2008

Hi, you look easy.

I've lost my number, can I borrow yours?

If your going to feel guilty about this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

I hear bears are good at breaking the ice.

How often do you come h--- Sorry, cliché, I'm (Insert name)

Crap_haT
Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 730
Joined: 9 Jan 2008

Khell_Sennet:
The only one I know is a poem from FARK.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'll fuck you with a rake

Doesn't work too good.

Gardening next day.

"This rake smells odd" *GASP* "A man is near by!"

danimal1384
Copy Clerk
Posts: 79
Joined: 18 Sep 2007

"i'm like a rubix cube... the more u play with me, the harder i get"

FujinAkari
Paperboy
Posts: 15
Joined: 5 Jan 2008

"Is it hot in here, or is it just you?"

p1ne
Beat Writer
Posts: 184
Joined: 20 Nov 2007

"Hey baby, wanna see my shock rifle?"

Talisker
Copy Clerk
Posts: 125
Joined: 31 Jan 2008

Hey Joe:
"I'll give you $50 to touch me"

Myself and 6 others gave a mate £10 each to try that to a girl one night out..... the bastard got away with it and they are still together almost 2 years later.

I personally favour asking to buy them a drink. It's old, it's corny and it works every time.

Kogarian
Muckraker
Posts: 256
Joined: 24 Feb 2008

Well, to be blunt, there's always the, "Hey, lets f_ck" approach.
Or the "I'll see you later tonight, baby."

GenHellspawn
Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 641
Joined: 1 Jan 2008

MikeyW:
Walk up to a girl, knock her drink to the floor.
Say, "Looks like you need a drink"
When she says she does say "Gimme six bucks then."

Never failed me yet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0d-N1sxqF8 ???

Melaisis
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1094
Joined: 9 Dec 2007

Duck Sandwich:
"Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm going to kill you
....oodley doo"

Age of Mythology reference? ;)

Anyway, here's mine:

"Get your coat love...

...I've got a knife."

Gwhahaha.

thebobmaster
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 6360
Joined: 28 Nov 2007

To a female UPS worker: "I've got a package for you."

*sigh* Quagmire, you have the best worst pick-up lines.

Duck Sandwich
Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 513
Joined: 13 Dec 2007

Melaisis:
Age of Mythology reference? ;)

Oh yeah.

"You don't happen to have any mace on you, do you?

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