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Pick-up lines

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TomNook
Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 681
Joined: 21 Feb 2008

If it hasn't already been said

Nice shoes, wanna fuck?

kitkatalice
Anonymous Source
Posts: 8
Joined: 8 May 2008

for all you computer geeks. "Hope your hard drive can handle my ram"

thebobmaster
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 6360
Joined: 28 Nov 2007

On a slightly related note, best pick-up line rejecting ever:

Man: Hey want to play carpenter? That's where we get hammered, and I nail you!

Woman: Too bad you didn't bring enough wood.

And this was involving Harlan Ellison:

HE: What would you say to a little fuck?

Woman: I would say, "Hello, little fuck."

avykins
Press Junketeer
Posts: 402
Joined: 8 May 2008

Hey dont knock the "Nice shoes. Wanna fuck ?" approach. Its worked before XD
my fave pickup lines are

You be the iceberg, i'll be the titanic and i'll go down on you.
If I bit my lip would you kiss it better ?
Im like a rubix cube, the more you play with me the harder I get.

and the best pick up line over

Scream and i'll knife ya bitch.

Oh and one that a happened to a mate of mine.

Guy: Hey wanna have a root?
Girl: No
Guy: Mind laying down while I have one ?
Girl: Okay.
Guy: ... (was shocked speechless)
Girl: Ahh see, youre all fulla shit aint ya. *walked off*

TheMightyAtrox
Copy Clerk
Posts: 63
Joined: 7 May 2008

Here's another one not to say:

"Hey you look like my next girlfriend." because she'll say something like "So do you."
(Hasn't happened to me but I've heard it before.)

redstar alpha
Beat Writer
Posts: 190
Joined: 9 Dec 2007

Kukakkau:
ironically i got told one today

that is not ironic

any way here is my stab at it

me:did it hurt?
girl:did what hurt?
me:when you fell out the sexys tree
(this one only seems to work on ugly chicks)

and one that will get you steriliased very quickly

me:hae you ever been spanked by a nerd in a robe with a keyboard?
girl:no
me:well tonights your lucky night(goodbye testicles)

Anarchemitis
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3377
Joined: 23 Dec 2007

"I call shotgun."

Galaxy613
Paperboy
Posts: 22
Joined: 6 Apr 2008

"You must be tried because you have been running around in my head alllll night.

Screaming."

redstar alpha
Beat Writer
Posts: 190
Joined: 9 Dec 2007

my personal favourite for when you are stood beside a girl(or man) and there is some big argument going on in front of you.

me(turning to girl):so,what do you think of the stock market?

works desturbingly well

qbert4ever
Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 678
Joined: 14 Dec 2007

Two of my favorites:

"I have a 9 inch tongue and can breathe through my ears"

"Nice legs, what time do they open?"

Sadly, nether have fielded any true results, but I keep on trucking.

Calobi
Press Junketeer
Posts: 375
Joined: 29 Dec 2007

Naomi:
I work graveyard so iv heard a lot but the most memorable, and eww, was when a guy came up to the desk with a box of condoms threw them down on the bench, looked up at me and said "how about it?"

Sorry about that. Seemed less gross in my head.

Anyways...Walk up to the person all shy-like, say to them (while not making eye contact) "There's something I want to get off my chest...(make eye contact)my shirt." I haven't tried it but it probably (read-in: definitely) works best if you're female (to whom I think most any of these would work, save maybe the rake one...).

Irrok the Wide
Copy Clerk
Posts: 121
Joined: 12 Feb 2008

I came up with this one..

Have you ever tasered anyone..??
No.
Wanna go out?

Inspired by...

If you were raped in the woods. Would you tell anyone?

Epicurus
Anonymous Source
Posts: 10
Joined: 11 May 2008

"Hey baby, you're the sexiest thing since sliced bread."

"Did someone call for an astronomer? Because you've got a heavenly body."

These are awful, I've only ever used them in joking situations to prevent premature removal of genitals.

ffxfriek
Copy Clerk
Posts: 51
Joined: 3 Apr 2008

ok this is my teachers friends whom happens to be married. Weird. You got more legs than a bucket of chicken

avykins
Press Junketeer
Posts: 402
Joined: 8 May 2008

One day Im just going to walk up to a hot girl, reach inside my breifcase and pull out my robe and wizard hat. ^_-

VoiceOfReason
Anonymous Source
Posts: 2
Joined: 11 May 2008

Want to see my level 70 human warlock?

Copter400
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1882
Joined: 14 Sep 2007

"Hey, sexy lady, wanna destroy all humans with me?"

zma924
Paperboy
Posts: 15
Joined: 27 Feb 2008

m_jim:
I have the king of all bad pick-up lines:
Me: "How much does a polar bear weigh?"
Pretty Girl: "...how much?"
Me: "Enough to break the ice."

haha. you got that from Hogan Knows Best. i agree, that is the worst.

Sparkly Weasel
Beat Writer
Posts: 127
Joined: 8 May 2008

Don't. Scream.

Dragonlord284
Anonymous Source
Posts: 2
Joined: 13 May 2008

Surprisingly this one worked for one of my old friends who said this at a school sports day,

'I burp, I fart, and I like squeezy cheese, wanna go out with me?'

They didnt last that long tho.
Where as personally ive never had to use them.

Duck Sandwich
Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 513
Joined: 13 Dec 2007

"I am the King of Awesome. Will you be my Queen?"

Anarchemitis
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3377
Joined: 23 Dec 2007

"Do you like music? ... One of my favorite bands is "The Barenaked Ladies". ... Yeah, I know! It's a funny band name, eh?"
(I wonder if you assumed that i was going for something pathetically cheesy, but it's a real band; fully legit)

damo69697
Paperboy
Posts: 17
Joined: 14 May 2008

here's my favorite one. hey lets play army i'll lie down and you can blow the hell outa me

Darth Mobius
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3805
Joined: 26 Feb 2008

Anarchemitis:
"Do you like music? ... One of my favorite bands is "The Barenaked Ladies". ... Yeah, I know! It's a funny band name, eh?"
(I wonder if you assumed that i was going for something pathetically cheesy, but it's a real band; fully legit)

Yeah, it may be a legit name for a band, but it is still a corny pick up line...

guyy
Copy Clerk
Posts: 72
Joined: 6 Mar 2008

Copter400:
"Hey, sexy lady, wanna destroy all humans with me?"

If you wanted to quote Bender exactly, its "Hey, sexy mama...wanna kill all humans?"

Ultrajoe
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3224
Joined: 24 Apr 2008

avykins:
One day Im just going to walk up to a hot girl, reach inside my breifcase and pull out my robe and wizard hat. ^_-

i get it

Listen, we both know what were here for, but how about sex instead?

confusion + creeps, works every time

Kastere
BANNED
Posts: 37
Joined: 15 May 2008

"Your hair falls like a waterfall down the craggy mountain that is your head."

Anarchemitis
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3377
Joined: 23 Dec 2007

[Overwatch]"Rank Leaders; Reminder: 100 Sterilized credits qualifies non-mechanical reproduction stimulation."

TheKnifeJuggler
Press Junketeer
Posts: 430
Joined: 18 May 2008

"You come on strong like a Garlic Milkshake."

CartoonHead
Beat Writer
Posts: 192
Joined: 12 Jun 2008

Pie:
I've never used a pickup line... EVER!

No, me neither. I guess I just end up breaking the ice in some way relevant to the situation or environment around myself and the girl in question when we are speaking.
No need for groan-worthy, over-used and corny chat-up lines that make you look like a tit IMO.

bloodnconcrete
Paperboy
Posts: 14
Joined: 10 Jul 2008

if you were a booger id pick you first

Silvertounge
Beat Writer
Posts: 209
Joined: 17 Jun 2008

You and I, we're like firehoses.

When we get turned on, there's bound to be a fire.

Yes, it's stolen. If you know from where, you're good, if you know from who, you've already fallen for it.

"Oh, come on... Chicks love gay guys, you're going to get some real action when word of this gets out."

Khedive Rex
Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 676
Joined: 1 Jun 2008

Bad pick up lines?

Excuse me, I've lost my virginity can I have yours?

Have you ever played Manhunt? I'm playing Womanhunt! *dangerous stare*

I have your Grandmother.

"Are you an Emo Girl?"
" ... uh, no."
*looks down depressed* "Damn it! I had the perfect pick up line for an Emo Girl."

"Are you an Emo Girl?"
"Yeah."
"You're a Freak! Hours and hours of high quality depression just like this come for the low low price of dating me."

You're so beautifull I bet you were alive during ancient Victorian times 300 years ago.

All of these are of my own creation so let me know if I suck.

Hey Joe
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1237
Joined: 23 Dec 2007

I like that skirt you're wearing, but I'd like it even more on my bedroom floor. What? No, I'm not a cross-dresser....I'm not! Forget I said anything...*slink away to corner*

Hello, my name is James and I'm a Billionaire whose hobbies include long walks, listening to problems and holding my breath for hours on end.

If you go out with me, I'll throw in a set of steak knives absolutely free!

Hey, at least I'm not your ex.

smallharmlesskitten
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1356
Joined: 3 Apr 2008

Nice dress, it would look good at the bottom of my bed in a crumpled heap tomorrow

Whats it like being that way
"What way"
"The way of being The sexiest girl in the room"

Hi I'm [name] and you are....Gorgeous!! -This one actually worked

Damn girl you got more curves than a racetrack

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