DreamerM:

mshcherbatskaya:
fangirls are SOOOOOO much scarier than fanboys. You have no idea.

She speaks the TRUTH!! Sing it, sister, SING IT!

My usual internet hang-out is consumed in a combo of Doctor Who shipwars, Russel T. Davies fangirls vs. h8ters, and Torchwood sux! No it doesn't. Yes it does! Nuh-uh! Yuh-huh! Captain Jack is TEH SEX! Cap'n Jack is TEH SEX FAIL!

How did this happen? I DON'T KNOW! I don't even like Doctor Who! I ran. I ran so far away. The fact that, for me, a gamer board is an oasis of of calm and considered discussion should tell you all that you need to know.

So, guys! Fanboy away! If you want to hump Yahtzee, Yahtzee's hat, or one of those goofy little demon things, feel free to say so. Offer him a tongue-bath if you have the nerve and internet-capable tongue. No matter how bad you get, there will always be fangirls to make you look sane.

http://www.gametrailers.com/player/usermovies/180345.html

^^Just in case anyone selected the "Not enough evidence" option: here's Yahtzee under professional lighting and WEARING HIS HAT!

Reason #432 that Meeting Yahtzee is intimidating: The man is TALL. I'm about the same hight Adam Sessler is, and Yahtzee was sailing at least a foot high above me.

It's touching to see how anxious Adam is in this video: he's as nervous as I was. If I turned scarlet and trembled in his Most Snarky Presence, well, I wasn't the only one.

In conjunction with my previous post, (see page 1) this thread can burn in United States.

Anarchemitis:
In conjunction with my previous post, (see page 1) this thread can burn in United States.

Uh oh, anti-americanism over here.

*calls Pentagon*

The missiles are on their way, Anarchemitis. I recommend finding the nearest basement and staying there.

DreamerM:

Anarchemitis:
In conjunction with my previous post, (see page 1) this thread can burn in United States.

Uh oh, anti-americanism over here.

*calls Pentagon*

The missiles are on their way, Anarchemitis. I recommend finding the nearest basement and staying there.

..This is going to end badly...

mshcherbatskaya:
I think that it's interesting that the two leading responses to the poll indicate an unhealthy obsession with Yahtzee and an unhealthy obsession with Yahtzee's hat. Perhaps someone should add the option to worship and/or have sex with The Hat?

I'd tap that.

mshcherbatskaya:

AdventSugar:
I would have to have sex with him as soon as possible. lol. But he would have to talk that fast during the intercourse.

Oh, now there's something to consider. If he does everything as fast as he talks...

One can only hope I have other things to be fanatical over.

DreamerM:
http://www.gametrailers.com/player/usermovies/180345.html

^^Just in case anyone selected the "Not enough evidence" option: here's Yahtzee under professional lighting and WEARING HIS HAT!

Reason #432 that Meeting Yahtzee is intimidating: The man is TALL. I'm about the same hight Adam Sessler is, and Yahtzee was sailing at least a foot high above me.

It's touching to see how anxious Adam is in this video: he's as nervous as I was. If I turned scarlet and trembled in his Most Snarky Presence, well, I wasn't the only one.

Sweet Jesus.... he is tall. I am only 5'2 I like him even better. He has spider-monkey like arms.

mshcherbatskaya:
The fact that, for me, a gamer board is an oasis of of calm and considered discussion should tell you all that you need to know.

Khell_Sennet:
--*Butt-Crab (as opposed to head-crab) Pic*--

And yet, this is STILL better than what I have become accustomed to!

Butt crab??? It's a Metroid. And I shouldn't have to point out who the chick is...

I thought butt crab was quite a good name for it actually. And bear in mind that 99% of images that show Samus out of the suit are erotic fanart, would be less surprising if she didn't know.

And I'm amazed this thread has gone on so long.

K'know... I have very little of Samus porn. There's lots out there, but it's just not all that good. Sure, the armor's kinky and sex with a helmet on has its time and place, but Samus IS just another blonde with nice tits... Cortana, now THERE'S some digital lovin'.

...*realizes there's two chips like those in the picture above sitting on his desk*

Necrohydra:
...*realizes there's two chips like those in the picture above sitting on his desk*

*finds that arousing*

Guys, please don't de-rail my thread. Please, pretty please? *sniffle*

Polling Update:

The conclusions drawn from this thread are mostly as follows:

1. The Hat Fixation continues to rule.

2. Lots of guys want it to be known that they are not gay.

I voted for the hat. Yahtzees hat for god!

Khell_Sennet:

That is easily the most terrifying thing I have ever seen- And I went to a NKOTB concert when I was 8!

More to the point, if i weren't desperately in love with my boyfriend, I would hit that.
I would wreck that man.
I'm aware of how gross that sounds, but come on; he's hot.
And witty.
But mainly hot.

AdventSugar:

Necrohydra:
...*realizes there's two chips like those in the picture above sitting on his desk*

*finds that arousing*

..I think this proves some other Rule....

It'd take me 5 seconds to organize a "chip orgy" at my desk. Along with confusing everyone else here. If that is all it takes to arouse, raid a engineering lab at a college and knock yourself out.

Khell_Sennet:
Samus IS just another blonde with nice tits...

Samus, clothed, is awesome and the equal of any Game Hero. She made history by being the first video game heroine who was actually worth anything on her own.

Samus, unclothed, is rampant fanboy baiting. Lara Croft in a mech-suit. Sigh.

Necrohydra:

AdventSugar:

Necrohydra:
...*realizes there's two chips like those in the picture above sitting on his desk*

*finds that arousing*

..I think this proves some other Rule....

It'd take me 5 seconds to organize a "chip orgy" at my desk. Along with confusing everyone else here. If that is all it takes to arouse, raid a engineering lab at a college and knock yourself out.

See I take care of myself. i make a decent amount of money. But when it comes to my computers this shirt sums it up.
"if i can build a computer from scratch, I can make you cum"

I am only a damsel in distress when it comes to Computer tech work.

DreamerM:
Guys, please don't de-rail my thread. Please, pretty please? *sniffle*

Your thread is for the idolized worship of a man in a tasteful hat... Like Amtrack, derailment is guaranteed. This topic wouldn't make me fear catching teh gay more if Rickroll was dancing with glowsticks...

Khell_Sennet:

Your thread is for the idolized worship of a man in a tasteful hat... Like Amtrack, derailment is guaranteed. This topic wouldn't make me fear catching teh gay more if Rickroll was dancing with glowsticks...

But but but but but....The second-most-popular answer is the AFFIRMATION of non-gay-ness! And it's not for worship, it's for giggles.

You make me cry. See? Tears. I'm crying now. I hope you're REALLY PROUD of yourself, REALLY PROUD. D': Boo-hoo-hoo.

Khell_Sennet:
Butt crab??? It's a Metroid. And I shouldn't have to point out who the chick is...

OK, here's a little confession. My broke ass couldn't afford video game hardware for the vast majority of my life, so for the longest time, I played what my employer supplied in the breakroom. Since none of my employers ever supplied me with any Nintendo products, I have never played Metroid. I finally got enough money to buy a game console of my own, only to have my apartment broken into and all my electronics stolen or broken, probably by one of the little shits that lived in the tweaker nest next door.

Now I am diligently working my way through the backlog of games I missed, and the Nintendo platform is at the absolute bottom of the list, because Mario's little mustachio mug makes me want to throw lit matches at people.

So while I do consider myself a gamer because I play about 4 hours a night every night and I am really interested in the way games work as entertainment, I'm way behind the curve compared to a lot of you guys. Periodically, I will mis-identify something game related, at which point you can throw lit matches at me if you like.

Allan Foe:
You need Yahtzee in a hat? Here's your Yahtzee in a hat!

It's Ben Croshaw as Trilby (and in a trilby)!

This image is not on this page yet! Shocking!

Think whatever you will about Yahtzee himself, but if you know anything at all about Trilby, you know he's great. Because he is. Fact.

DreamerM:

Khell_Sennet:

Your thread is for the idolized worship of a man in a tasteful hat... Like Amtrack, derailment is guaranteed. This topic wouldn't make me fear catching teh gay more if Rickroll was dancing with glowsticks...

But but but but but....The second-most-popular answer is the AFFIRMATION of non-gay-ness! And it's not for worship, it's for giggles.

You make me cry. See? Tears. I'm crying now. I hope you're REALLY PROUD of yourself, REALLY PROUD. D': Boo-hoo-hoo.

If it's for giggles, then funny off-tracking should prove to be a plus! I think...though crying does make me feel bad.

I guess I have a thing for Yahtzee because I have a thing for geeks. Particularly geeks with voices that have grown out of puberty and into *OMGHAWT*. Therefore, I would hit it like a Mack truck.

I did, in fact, make an LJ comm devoted to fangirling Yahtzee, unfortunately I still need to write up most of it.

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Carol Pentalentathon:
I never would have thought there would be such a social stigma against homosexuality amongst gamers.

Me neither. I went to a SSBM tournament a few weeks ago and heard one of the players say "Captain Falcon is the only man I would have sex with."

Made me smile. Kid had taste. :D

Edit: I think I just quoted an edited post...

Sentient Muffin:
[quote=Carol Pentalentathon]... "Captain Falcon is the only man I would have sex with." ...

Falcon PUNCH! lolz.

If, IF I were to ever catch teh gay, Captain Falcon is so far down the list he'd run into other rejects like Guybrush Threepwood and Dr. Robotnik. Seriously, if I'm gonna be pounded in the back door, I wanna make it worth my while. I'd marry Batman... He's rich.

He's God, 'nuff said. Now I have a question for God... Is December 21, 2012 really the apocalypse.

Khell_Sennet:
if I'm gonna be pounded in the back door, I wanna make it worth my while. I'd marry Batman... He's rich.

Honey, Bruce Wayne is WAY out of your league. Unless your packing a flat stomach, elfin legs, and look REALLY good in satin, forget getting that guy to give you so much as a look, let alone a ring.

It's kinda funny seeing the homophobes of the world talking like "you ain't no queer are ya?" when no queer -I- know (and I live in SF: the land of the queers) would look at them twice. Queers, real ones, tend to have very high standards for the men they date. Higher then lots of the women I know, actually.

Though, to be fair, the two gay guys I really know well are both gorgeous creatures who can usually pick-and-choose their favorites from any group, so their deal might be a bit different from average.

Beaux:
He's God, 'nuff said. Now I have a question for God... Is December 21, 2012 really the apocalypse.

If I were God, I'd say only if you're a Maya.