It had just occurred to me that being a Gamer,and in general a nerd I actually think about what I'd do in a Zombie apocalypse. That In mind I thought many other people must do the samething at one time or another so I figured we should collectively write a guide for the inevitable human-munching hordes.
Basically you just write an article on something relating to surviving against zombies and so we maintain consistancy assume the zombies are the virally-infected slow and uncurable type.
Possibilities are:
"Proper use of Tools against zombies" would cover the pros and cons of using a hammer or a crowbar against zombies and it's usefulness outside of combat.

it can be umorous or serious just remember a few things
1)Title your article so we know what you're talking about
2)You can write multiple articles if you wish, just keep each one isn't too long
3)Try to avoid doing repeats of a previously covered topic unless it was done horribly.

http://www.amazon.com/Zombie-Survival-Guide-Complete-Protection/dp/1400049628

I'll let the professionals handle it for me.

Or the BBC, for that matter:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A6875715

Dude, think about zombies all the time. I've got plans n shit falls it happens. They're not actually written, but I've gone over it enough in my head that I'm ready. I'll post again, when I've got something (more) useful.

Oh, Potato Lord, you are such a spud.

But what sort of zombies we talkin' here? Crazy dark voodoo ones? Dawn of the Dead ones? Shambling, decomposing zombies? Speedy zombies?

Y'see, if it's the shamblers, I'm currently in a partnership with a friend of mine, and we're building a suspension cage deep in the mountains, where the shambling kinds can't reach. Sort of screwed if it's the speedy kind.

It's times like this that I'm glad I frequent Max Brooks' work on the matter.

Being a Brit, obviously, I'll stumble around London, twatting the occasional zombie with my cricket bat, before everything going to pieces in the last ten minutes and all my mates getting eaten alive.

No...wait...

Maybe just get into a tank? Seems like no one ever actually thought of that... A whoopsie moment if there ever was one.

The_Toe_Bighter98:
Maybe just get into a tank? Seems like no one ever actually thought of that... A whoopsie moment if there ever was one.

Yeah, I mean there are just dozens of MBTs just lying around on the street corner.

But seriously, not a bad idea.

For Australians, I'd suggest a little trip down to your local Bunning's (in your newly acquired, thank you Mr. Bighter, tank) to stock up on shovels, rebar, bricks, hoes, trolleys, hot dogs, etc.

Copter400:
For Australians, I'd suggest a little trip down to your local Bunning's (in your newly acquired, thank you Mr. Bighter, tank) to stock up on shovels, rebar, bricks, hoes, trolleys, hot dogs, etc.

Allready there mate. OH god no, all those workers who have that annoying habbit of talking to camera's are shambling towards me.

OH GOD THERE'S SO MANY OF THEM AND THEY ALL HAVE THOSE RED APRONS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.........

*runs into the little kiddies playground an holds them off at the door....*

Pfft, the ultimate survival method is with a megablimp.

Really big blimp with a farm on board (wouldnt have to feed more than you) water filter (refilling from the ocean), solar panels, batteries and a whole lotta helium.

If you take a hunting or sniper rifle with you, you can fly over once populated areas and take potshots at zombies for fun.

1- A crowbar is useful as it is powerful and can function as other than a weapon.
2- AK47's are a good gun to use as they are durable and accurate, if unavailable use a rifle for the same reason.
3- For attacking, move as two strike as one.
4- For defending, safety in numbers.
5- Unless you need to go somewhere or know of an evacuation plan, stay at home.
6- USA style schools are a good place to stay. Hospitals are not.
8- Cars make noise and get zombies attention, that's bad. Travel on foot.
9- Zombies sight: poor.
10- Zombies smell: superhuman.
11- Zombies hearing: superhuman.
12- Zombies speed: slow until target is within reach, then fast.
13- To kill a zombie: destroy the head or obliterate the body, pain blood loss= nothing.
14- Animals are rarely affected, but can be.
15- When searching a building: make noise and use light, the zombies will come to you anyway.
16- Zombies are stupid.
17- SG rounds work well with shotgun.
18- Hollow point rounds are the best ammo.
19- Walk light, run fast. (Don't carry much)
20- This is possibly the only time fire is not your friend

Ok I'm done.... for now.

Knight Templar:

20- This is possibly the only time fire is not your friend

Are you talking about me or the real fire. Cos the zombies didn't get to me and turn me into a brand mew form of super zombie with the ability to talk and stand up straight; oh no!

I'm just going to quote Max Brooks on this one:

1. ORGANIZE BEFORE THEY RISE!
2. THEY FEEL NO FEAR, WHY SHOULD YOU?
3. USE YOUR HEAD: CUT OFF THEIRS.
4. BLADES DON'T NEED RELOADING.
5. IDEAL PROTECTION = TIGHT CLOTHES, SHORT HAIR.
6. GET UP THE STAIRCASE, THEN DESTROY IT.
7. GET OUT OF THE CAR, GET ONTO THE BIKE.
8. KEEP MOVING, KEEP LOW, KEEP QUIET, KEEP ALERT!
9. NO PLACE IS SAFE, ONLY SAFER.
10. THE ZOMBIE MAY BE GONE, BUT THE THREAT LIVES ON.

These are the Ten Commandments of fighting the undead.

Fire Daemon:

Knight Templar:

20- This is possibly the only time fire is not your friend

Are you talking about me or the real fire. Cos the zombies didn't get to me and turn me into a brand mew form of super zombie with the ability to talk and stand up straight; oh no!

You could be Zombie Jesus, he could talk. Right now you're looking a little paler and more 'eat-your-face-for-brains' than normal.

If I was in a zombie attack, I would go somewhere cold, such as certain parts of Russian, Alaska, or Canada. Everyone knows frost damage of +5 damage will destroy the average zombie in a minute or two. You could also go to China, who will still have have overpopulation problems, and with most other people being zombies, the world's food surpluses will go down and China won't be able to import enough food to feed their people. With this, China will order their citizens to feed on the zombies for nourishment, proving to be an disgusting example of irony.

You could also go to Mongolia...I mean, does anyone hear any news come out of that place since the last time they ruled world? Seriously, zombies might just think 'Mongolia' is an urban myth.

You could also go to Africa or Hattii...they would have voodoo magic in place to stop the zombies.

Did you guys ever watch Red vs. Blue's episode on having a zombie plan? If you can find it on Youtube or something, it will provide you with the basics...plus its good for a laugh.

Get semi truck get as much ammo, supplies, building materials and survivers as possible and head towards the most isolated spot I can to. (preferably Pennsylvania where there coal.)

One thing is clear: The end-time is 2012. If your zombie preparedness/asteroid apocalypse/financial meltdown/mass destruction defense plans aren't ready by then, game over.

get a boat, go to the middle of the sea. take a fishing rod, bait, a lighter, gasoline, and a slingshot.

go to mainland from time to time to get some supplies, find some survivors (mostly women, as one of your primary objectives will be to secure the continuity of the human race).

Zombies don't seem to attack each other. If you're really in a desperate situation, just start acting like one. They'll probably leave you be.

Kogarian:
Did you guys ever watch Red vs. Blue's episode on having a zombie plan? If you can find it on Youtube or something, it will provide you with the basics...plus its good for a laugh.

Yeah it's great. "Tasty meat bottle-neck" springs to mind. Living in blighty I'd have to find a shotgun from a farm, or raid an army base. Then get out of overly populated areas and build a place to live high up in the countryside. I am fond of the tank option though. Very fond...

Just for my contribution? To any wanna be movie stars; DO NOT BRING A MOTHERFUCKING CHAINSAW. Are we all clear?

Equipment basics. This is what you'll want to have before the event even STARTS, even though the weapons can be procured shortly after as well since they're pretty much only useful for a zombie outbreak unlike the other stuff. The other stuff is things you should have even if the zombie apocalypse DOESN'T happen.
(If you're a republican, you might very well consider a rifle or handgun useful even when an emergency doesn't happen. But if you're not a gun nut, you are excused for not owning them. Having a basic familiarity and knowledge of common weapons will help, however. If you live in the US, procuring weaponry will be easy enough so you can be excused doubly for not owning them. If you can't even own weapons at all, make sure to get them ASAP after the outbreak)

Hatchet, Knife and Crowbar. The hatchet and crowbar are weapons as well as tools, the knife is strictly a utility tool. Don't try to take a zombie on with it. You'll die.

Rifle. Something bolt-action, or at least single shot. This encourages good aim, the weapon type has the optimal braining ability, and if you're close to a zombie you shouldn't use a rifle anyway, so an assault rifle is suboptimal. Not to mention assault rifles need a lot more maintenance. Do not fire at targets above 100 meters away without extremely good reason. Targets above 100 meters away are better off ignored. I suggest 30-10 meters, to maximize aim. A single bullet wasted can very easily mean your bloody, fast, death.

Handgun. A pistol is preferable to a revolver if you are skilled enough, if you are not, a revolver is easier to use by far and is thus the better choice. This is for mid-close encounters (under 10 meters) only. For any distance above that, use the rifle.

You'll want a heavy, very sturdy backpack. Military issue is preferrable. If not, outdoorsy hiking types. Ensure that the backpack can be removed from yourself with extreme ease, a mere shrug of the shoulder in the right way should do it. This ensures that if you get grabbed, you can ditch it immediately.

For food items, anything that can be eaten cold and lasts in room-temperature storage is a must. A week's supply at the very least.

At the first sign of an outbreak (or any other type of disaster), draw massive amounts of tap water up into storage. It is not suggested to keep liters upon liters of water around constantly, but empty containers, well..you have some of those around, don't you? Note that WATER is what you want. Nothing alcoholic, milk, juice or soft drinks. Milks and juices go bad fast, alcohol is plain out, when the apocalypse starts you are going to stop all your vices, cold turkey. Soft drinks aren't preferrable due to their dehydrating side-effect.

First Aid. You'll want a full first aid kit. If possible (I say this a lot, but they make very sturdy stuff), military issue. Bandage, antiseptic spray, burn cream, medicinal alcohol, cotton swabs. Those are the basic items a first aid kit must have. Above that, you'll have to consider if you want to add to your backpack's weight because you can't handle bugbites and indigestion. Heavy painkillers, morphine being ideal, are very good to procure soon after the apocalypse, if you can somehow find a hospital (or preferrably, pharmacy) that isn't overrun with the undead.

You will be unable to use a car very early on, because the roads will be blocked up very badly. Ergo, going by foot or bike is optimal, until you can find something very heavy to aid clearing vehicular debris on-the-go. (A military troop crawler, AKA an APC, is ideal. If not, a bus or truck with hillbilly armor works too. Certain construction equipment is useful as well, but they usually don't have the pure amount of storage space that APCs or busses do.)

As for other survivors you meet, once you get to a safe place to spend the night, demand full stripping and medical inspection from every one of them (and yourself of course). Anyone with bite marks must be tied up overnight, if possible to a radiator or something else that won't let them go off biting you in your sleep, and then ditched in the morning. If the other survivors refuse, leave without them.
This goes for your friends, girlfriends, wives, boyfriends, husbands, parents and children too. Anyone gets bitten, they are to be abandoned. There's nothing you can do for them unless you are willing to waste ammunition. It sounds cold, but if you do not act cold, lose your humanity for now...you will die, and lose it forever.

The ideal place to go is very rural midwest (if in the US, similar rural farming areas if not). You'll want a place that can be set up with triple layers of mesh wire, very sturdy. You'll want an unlimited source of water, such as a river or an area with several underground deposits of water (this is why US midwest is ideal). You'll want a lot of farmland, and not a single other house in sight. All the farmland and surrounding area of the house you are planning to use will be, as previously stated, surrounded by at least three layers of wire mesh fences, and place them down REAL sturdy. If you can break through them by driving with your truck, it's not sturdy enough. The entire fence-line be replaced at least once a year.
You'll want to learn farming. And fast. Enough for personal survival, a decent underground stockpile (you'll want to dig an underground storage area, this will make cold storage in winter easier) and anyone else that gets there.
Procure a ham radio or even better, an internet source. Reach any survivors you can, any way you can. Tell them you have a safe place. Make extremely sure that every single person who comes to your fortress will get a full medical examination. People with bites will be turned away. At gunpoint if need be. Anyone who does not have visible bite marks will be placed in a storage area for five days, and treated very well during the time. When that time has passed, if no obvious condition deterioration has happened, they're free to join you.
Explain beforehand what will happen, of course, and why. (Non-injury infection) You're not the bad guy, you're just a survivor.

You'll want to find someone with technical knowledge, to place some sort of infinitely renewable energy source (wind energy, water energy, etc.) at your camp. If at all possible, procure electrically powered agricultural equipment. If done correctly, your camp should be almost completely independent with no need to venture out for supplies.

If you do end up venturing out, you will get supplies in this order: Necessary, useful, doubles of necessary, doubles of useful, wanted.
Necessary being things that you need, such as replacement parts for agricultural equipment or replacement wire fences. Replacement first aid supplies too.
Useful being things that could come in handy, such as weaponry, first aid supplies if you're not running low, computers if you have an internet source, etc. Condoms and clothing also falls under here. (unless you're all running around only wearing socks, in which case clothing gets promoted to necessary. Condoms are never 'necessary'.)
Doubles of those two is self-explanatory.
Wanted, if you STILL have space over, will be things like entertainment (sports, games, computers if you don't have an internet source, etc.), liquor, cigs, whatever.
NEVER. EVER. EVER. FOR ANY REASON. go out on a scavenge run only for wanted things. EVER. No, I don't care how much you want a drink/smoke or how bored you are. You are not leaving camp if there's nothing that is needed.
If anyone disobeys that rule, they are free to leave, but upon returning they will be treated to a full medical examination, including put into the holding pen for another five day period. And they cannot use any of the group supplies, such as the troop crawler/bus/whatever. If they seriously think a bit of liquor is worth all that, then it's their head. They'll be gone soon enough, permanently, and the people with patience and brains will be left alive. This is how you need it.

Another extremely important rule: Guns are for zombies only. Anyone holding or using a weapon on another person, for any reason, is exiled immediately. Tempers are sure to flare, but life is extremely precious, and more importantly, tempers flaring is always how the people in the films die. If you can't stay together for pure survival, then you WILL die.

There. That should keep you ticking until they've all rotted to dust in 10 years or so. Until then, grab the nearest person of opposite gender and repopulate the earth. We'll need it.

That was...overly useful...i don't think anything can really give more information than that...

er, what i've beeen thinking is go to Super taget or somewhat...they'll have food, beds, weapons...It's better than the mall because there should be less people...Just go through and kill everyone when you get there, then barricade the entrances. Make sure there's a back door that is easily locked and blocked off. You can go through there to get out and get other supplies not in the super target, like guns. Shot gun kills several zombies in an area, even at long range. you could get a car and park it close to the door, so that it blocks the entrance while still allowing you to get through. A super target will have plenty of items for entertainment. 360's, PS3's, Wii's...If the computers there suck, you can go to BestBuy at some point. Also try and keep the electricity on so you can still drink that milk and energy drinks.

That's all i got right now...essentially say screw survivors and be a loner till someone somehow notices you.

I'll disagree with propertyofcobra on one thing: the fencing surrounding your established base. A good sized zombie horde will have that down in a matter of minutes. I believe the ideal anti-zombie fortification is a house on stilts. At least twenty feet off the ground. And it would be best in an open clearing, at least three miles on all sides. This gives plenty of sight to keep look outs should you need to go down & get back up quickly. You don't even need to kill the zombies, they'd just walk right under the house. In point of fact, I would avoid killing them, as the bodies might literally start piling up, giving them a chance to climb up and get to your home.

I thought you had good points, SwiftV. PropertyofCobra's plans require multiple people already working together, with supplies and buildings; your plans work from an "I'm on my own" mentality.

No I think sticking a person into an isolation chamber for a week would take care of any need for a psychologist.

I have a very detialed plan for the invasion of Zombies. But would be at least 5 pages of explaining as it covers "If things were to go wrong."

But the number one thing that always springs to mind is "Flaming zombies= Bad news." This is because not only are the Zombies on fire and could do some serious damage to your life points but the virus is now airborne. In essence; you're fucked.

I'm just realizing, I'm sitting here in NYC, and after reading Max Brooks's excellent book, I'm probably in one of the worst possible locations to be in during a zombie attack: heavily populated city, very few ways in & out of tall buildings (the city too come to think of it), almost no easy methods to procure fresh water (outside of the tap, which you shouldn't trust), limited storage space for food/survival gear.

I should say, for those (like me) who are unprepared: first thing, find a weapon. The longer the better, the heavier the better, like a crowbar or fireplace poker. Secondly, assess your current situation: are you in a safe location? How long will you be able to last on your current food/water? Do you have an easy way out?

For those in an apartment complex: secure your own apartment (for only a matter of hours/days), then secure the floor (usually there are only one/two staircases; secure these points and don't let anything in), then secure the building. Look to the doorman/super's desk, they'll usually have keys to all the other apartments around you (this is dangerous). Be prepared to contend with your neighbors' reanimated corpses & you might make a friend of another survivor along the way.
If you have enough supplies to last a month, minimum, don't go out. If not, don't wait, find the nearest small convenience store and rip them off for all the water & canned foods you can carry. Honey & peanut butter are good too & last a while (peanut butter 1 yr.)
Also: I think this hasn't been mentioned, but in a life or death situation, you might not be able to locate the proper nutrients your body needs to survive. See if you can break into a health/exercise store and grab some multi-vitamins.

Any other advice for people who are in an already difficult situation? I don't want to be a zombie's lunch!